wanted it differently. He’d given her more than the best sex of her life. He’d made her discover love. He’d given her a child. New life. And now the promise of death. It couldn’t be true. She sunk back onto the sofa.
He got up, walked to the kitchen, and came back with a glass of water.
“Drink,” he instructed gently.
It wasn’t water she needed. It was vodka, neat. When she shook her head, he left it on the coffee table and went down on his haunches in front of her. She turned her head toward the wall. She didn’t understand any of this. It wasn’t possible.
“Katherine.” When she didn’t look at him, he gripped her chin and turned her face back to him. “All mothers of forbidden art babies die at birth.”
Her fingers trembled in her lap. She clasped her hands together to still them. “It can’t be true.”
“Please, don’t deny it. It won’t change anything. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I don’t know how you conceived. I can’t explain it. I hoped it wasn’t mine and hated the thought of it being someone else’s.”
“The baby is yours, Lann.”
“I’d like to have tests done.” When she parted her lips to object, he said, “I want to have tests done to know what went wrong.”
“Wrong?” She got to her feet again. “Is this all it is to you? Something went wrong?”
His jaw set in a hard line. “If it’s going to cost your life, then yes, it’s wrong.”
“Maybe this time it’ll be different,” she said, clinging to hope.
His tone was sad. “No mother has ever survived. Why do you think there are so few of us?” As her hands went to her stomach, his eyes followed the movement. “I want you to move back to the monastery and stay there at least until after the abortion.”
She almost choked. “I don’t want to kill my baby.”
Balling his hands into fists, he said in a raised voice, “I don’t want to be the reason for killing you.”
She flinched, leaning away from him. He took a ragged breath, seeming as if he were fighting for control.
She needed time to process all of this. “You have to go.”
He pursed his lips. “I’m not leaving you.”
The support he offered was born from duty instead of care. It wasn’t the kind of support she needed.
“If it wasn’t for this pregnancy, you wouldn’t be here right now,” she said. “By choice, you would’ve never seen me again. That’s what the contract was for.”
“Katherine,” he said, palms spread to the ceiling.
“Tell me, Lann. The truth.”
He hung his head. “I didn’t plan on seeing you again, but only because I didn’t want to ruin your life.”
“Then don’t,” she said. “See yourself out.”
“No.”
She got to her feet. “It wasn’t a request.”
“Katherine—”
“I need time.” It was too much to absorb. “Please.”
When he didn’t budge, she walked to her room, and closed her door. She leaned on it until she heard a click followed by the fading sound of his footsteps on the landing.
After two days of isolating herself, ignoring Lann’s calls and messages, there was a soft knock on Kat’s bedroom door.
“Kat?” Diana called.
Kat hadn’t told her friend what Lann had said. She’d been thinking about her options. There really was only one decision to make. She’d researched for two days. There was no doubt in her mind what Lann said was true. The choice was her life or their child’s. Either way, someone had to die. By her conscious choice. By her hand. A shiver ran over her.
“Kat?” Diana’s persistent knocking pulled her back to the moment.
She closed the reports on forbidden arts on her laptop, and smoothed down her hair. “Come in.”
Her roommate entered, but she wasn’t alone. With her was a tall, slender woman with short hair, styled to look messy, dressed in a sleeveless black dress.
Diana’s shrug was apologetic. “I brought a visitor.”
“Hi, Kat,” the woman said in a melodic voice. “I’m Eve. I’d like to talk to you.”
Kat turned in her chair, her body tensing. “Who are you?”
Eve nodded at Diana, and when the latter left the room with a solemn face, Eve sat down on Kat’s bed.
“I’m Lann’s doctor.” Kat opened her mouth, but Eve lifted her hand. “Just listen before you make any judgment. Lann told me that you’re pregnant, and that you’re claiming the baby is his.”
“He still doesn’t believe me?”
“He does, and so do I, even if, from a medical perspective, it’s impossible to explain. I’ve personally conducted the fertility tests