so long to answer, I was just about to hang up and call the cops.”
“What are you talking about, Max?”
“I’ve called you three times this morning, Dad.”
“You have? I guess I was just sleeping soundly. What’s the big emergency? I mean, it’s not like I’m not happy to hear from you son, but what’s going on?” William hadn’t talked to his son in close to a month, but he knew that his oldest was busy with his job and family. He missed his kids and grandchildren though, and was disappointed to hear from Kristi that they weren’t going to be able to get together over the summer.
“We need to talk. You might want to sit down.”
William’s pulse picked up as a rush of adrenaline spurred his heart on, though he kept his voice level. “I am sitting. What is it?”
“I hate to be the one to do this, but if I don’t, I don’t think anyone else ever will. I never agreed with the way Mom chose to handle this, but I’m tired of her calling me at night crying. You need to be told.”
“Whoa. Slow down, Max.” William felt a throb develop in his right temple and was unable to follow where his son’s conversation was going. “What are you talking about and what is this about your Mom?”
“She’s worried sick about you, Dad.” Max paused. “We all are. You’ve been acting strange and you won’t take your medication like the doctor says —”
“Now hold on a damned second. I don’t know what your Mom has been telling you, but I’m fine. I don’t need any pills. I’m not depressed.” William felt himself getting angry. Kristi had no business calling and getting the kids all riled up over nothing.
“Those pills aren’t for depression, Dad. They’re for dementia.”
The sun still shone brightly in his eyes, and Devon was still barking his ass off outside, but William didn’t notice any of it. His mind froze, trying to grasp Max’s words.
“What?”
“You heard me, Dad. You’re losing it. And Mom doesn’t know how much longer she can deal with this by herself.”
“I don’t know what the fu-, what the hell you are talking about.” William paused and rubbed his temple, fighting a losing battle against his temper. “But there is nothing wrong with my mind.”
“Really? What do you remember from yesterday, Dad?”
“I did some yard work, and I had a fight with your Mom.” William snapped, suddenly very tired and wanting to slam the phone down to silence the accusations.
“That’s all? That’s really all you did? What did you have for lunch? For supper?”
“I don —”
“That’s right. You don’t know. You’ve been losing time for months now. It was Mom’s idea to tell you that the pills were for depression, but I always thought you should be told. Especially after losing your job like that.”
“I retired.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Dad! You didn’t retire. You were forced to resign. You can’t tell me you’ve completely forgotten or suppressed or whatever what you did. You whipped your dick out in the middle of class and pissed in the trashcan. You’re just lucky that no one pressed charges for indecent exposure.”
William dropped to his knees, unaware he had even stood up. His skin felt cold but he was hot inside, his guts churning. He felt like his whole world had just been turned upside down.
Flashes of half memories began to assault him, but blessedly flitted away again. Emotions rolled within him; anger, shame, and confusion battled against one another until his head felt like someone was hammering it.
Something rolled across the roof and Devon howled, snapping William out of his torment. The phone was still in his hand, the sound of his son’s voice far away. Not listening to what Max said, he put the phone to his ear and spoke in an even voice that sounded alien to him.
“I love you, Max, but shut up. I have to go.” He put the phone back on the cradle and rose to his feet, his legs numb and shaky. There was a scrambling sound from the roof and he looked up, as if he could somehow see through the upper floors and the rafters to the shingles above.
The squirrel.
William stumbled into the master bathroom and retrieved a can of Aquanet hairspray from the counter. He shook it and sprayed a fine mist, checking to make sure the nozzle wasn’t clogged. The smell made him smile, for a second he remembered making out with Kristi long ago in