it wasn’t malicious.”
“You do? Then…why haven’t we talked in seventeen days? Why haven’t you reached out to me?” She swallowed hard. Mostly tamping down her pride. “Why didn’t you try to get back together with me?”
He wrenched off his sunglasses, tossing them onto the baby grass struggling to cast off winter. “Because being apart seemed easier. I can read a calendar. You’re coming up on your ninety-day cutoff. When you run away from Chestertown as fast as you can. The deeper into this whole thing we got, I knew your leaving, the end to our fake engagement—that’d be so damn hard. This way it was already done.”
In the time they were together, Sydney had spent a lot of time actively not thinking about how hard it would be to walk away from Alex. Compartmentalizing was another one of her specialties. Thoughts that scared her, that could hurt her, got locked away in a mental bunker of concrete and titanium.
Which was great when your day was spent zipping between two airports and three countries while keeping a crew together. It was not, however, conducive to an open and honest relationship.
She’d never spared a thought for how her insistence on leaving could be an open wound for Alex.
Wow, she had a lot to learn.
Nevertheless, this all sounded…positive? Cautiously, Sydney asked, “So you’re not still mad at me?”
Alex dropped his arms. And held them out, open, to her. “No. I miss you too much to stay mad.”
Sydney rushed forward to burrow against his chest. They stood there, entwined, hitching in breaths until their chests rose and fell in sync.
Gram was right. Home could be a person.
Alex loosened his hug just enough to look down at her. “I’m sorry, Sydney. I shouldn’t have ended things with you. Not that way. Not over my own stupid mistake.”
Oh, no. Mr.-Always-Responsible didn’t get to co-opt her apology. “I got you fired, Alex. You said they’d shoved it under the carpet, let you stay until I told the world what really happened.”
“True. But it was my bad, stupid decision in the first place that led you there. It started with me making the wrong choice. It got compounded by not telling you about it. I’m just as much to blame. It’s been hammered home to me lately that going it alone just doesn’t work.”
“Funny—I feel like that’s the big lesson life stuffed down my throat since coming home, too.” Which Sydney didn’t mind, because it was all better. Insisting on doing everything herself was hard. Lonely. Didn’t come with any medals. Whereas sharing herself with people felt whole. Complete. Especially with Alex.
His hands framed her face, thumbs caressing her cheekbones. “That idea we had about not sharing our histories with each other to make the engagement easier? That was…dumb.”
Sydney laughed. They’d set themselves up for failure from the start. “Agreed. The shocking thing is that we both actually thought it would work.”
“The shocking thing is that we still stuck to it. Kept our heads buried in the sand as our hearts got closer and closer.”
That could easily be labeled the biggest mistake she’d ever made. “I should’ve told you about my job. And vice versa. Alex, there’s so much we still need to share with each other. Things I really, really want to share with you.”
“I want to tell you everything, Sydney. I want to bore you silly with the verbal download of my life.” Those stunning, pale blue eyes bored into hers. “Except…you’re still leaving. Aren’t you?”
Her smile grew so big that she could barely talk. “No. Not right away. And once I do leave, I plan on it to only be for short bursts of work, and then come straight back here, where I belong.”
Alex’s jaw dropped in astonishment. “How is that possible?”
“That job offer I mentioned? Wanderlust wants me. They want me badly enough that it looks like they’ll agree to my terms of being a contractor. Doing a few shows as seasonal specials, but not living my life on the road 24/7, 365. And working on new show development the rest of the time, which I can do here. Because I have a home, people I cherish right here, that I’m not willing to be away from.”
His thumbs stilled. His whole body stiffened again, as if bracing for a blow. “Where do I figure into that?”
“Wherever you want.” Sydney stepped out of his embrace to take his hands. “No more hiding things, Alex. We put all our cards on the table. Which means me