booming over his. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
I can’t take it. I can’t listen to this anymore.
He squares his shoulders to mine. “And I don’t give a fuck.”
The room heats, the walls are waiting to see if we come to blows for the first time in our lives. It’s never happened—minus a few small skirmishes growing up. But Garret, Grant, and I have never physically gone at it.
Today, though, may change history.
“I’m your brother,” he says. “You can trust me.”
“I know that.”
We stare at each other, the stand-off continuing. He doesn’t back down. He won’t.
I finally acquiesce, mostly because I’m too tired of fighting tonight. I’ve fought myself for hours.
I blow out a breath and look at the ceiling. “Something happened, and that’s it. It’s over. It's not happening again.”
“Was it bad?”
I settle my gaze on him again. “No.”
“Then … why not?”
“Because it’s fucking Haley, that’s why.”
“I thought we just established that you fucked Haley.”
It’s a joke. I get it. But the thought of him dismissing it like that—you fucked Haley—incenses me.
My blood boils, my fingers itching to crank a wrench or hit a bag or do something to rid my body of the anger building inside it.
It’s true, though. I did just fuck her. And that’s what it’ll be construed as to everyone.
To her.
Not that I give a shit about what anyone else in town thinks, but I do care about how she internalizes this. We can’t be together again—for her own good—but then she will naturally think I just used her. A one-and-done. A one-night stand.
That she’s just like the rest of the women who I’ve been with. But she deserves so much more than that. She deserves the world.
I close my eyes and try to center myself before I spin completely in a circle.
“Okay …” Garret says.
“Fine. You want to know what’s going on?” I say, the words roaring out of my mouth. “I did—I fucked her. Okay? I broke my own rules when it comes to her because I’m fucking weak. Because I’m a hedonist—I don’t know. But I did it, and now I have to deal with the fallout.”
He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“Are ya happy now?” I ask, my voice echoing through the shop.
“No.”
“Dammit, Garret,” I mutter and turn away.
“I don’t get it. You were with the girl who you obviously care a lot about—”
“Don’t put that on me.” I look at him over my shoulder. “Don’t even go there.”
“Go where?” He throws his hands up in the air. “You like her, do you not? Because if you stand there and tell me I’ve fabricated this entire thing myself, I’m going to call you what you are—a liar.”
Steam rises from my head as I face him again. I don’t know what to say to him. He’s not wrong. But if I can put a damper on it from the start—nip it in the bud—then maybe it’ll make things easier going forward.
But I don’t know how to do that.
“Gray, listen, man—I know this is, like, not what you usually do. I get it. But this is not a bad thing.”
“Oh, okay,” I snarl. “Do you think that she—Haley Morgan, Miss Sunshine—is going to be my little fuck buddy? Do you think she will buy into—that she should buy into—some fucked-up friends-with-benefits thing with me of all people? Come on, Garret.”
“No. I don’t think she should because I think the two of you should try being together, actually.”
I scoff.
He’s undeterred. He’s delusional.
“But if she wants to be friends with benefits, then, yeah. Why not?” He holds his hands at his sides. “Women do that these days, you know. Sometimes they choose that, and they’re allowed to. It’s a cool new thing.”
I glare at him. “Haley isn’t a friends-with-benefits girl.”
“And you know that because you’ve asked her? Awesome. I didn’t know that.”
“I’m not asking her that. I’m not …” I press a swallow down my throat. “I’m not doing that.”
“Oh, okay. So you’re just going to fuck her once and then be a dick to her? Because that’s not cool, Grayson.”
I run my hand over my head.
He’s not wrong. And that’s why I never deserved to touch her, to taste her, to know what she sounds like when she comes.
I. Don’t. Deserve. That.
He gives me a second to get myself together—going as far as to take a step back to give me some room. I’m not sure if it was intentional or not, but I appreciate it. A lot.
My brain is filled