on Stewie . . . and afterward my sister might never speak to me again.
FOUR
Boone
“Maybe if you feed him, he’ll be too busy eating to keep singing.”
Singing, very happily, the shit song that I had, though unintentionally, taught him.
I glanced at the hot chick to see what she thought about that idea. She looked completely overwhelmed and honestly, about to lose her shit. I guess I couldn’t blame her. Her child now had a mouth suited for late night cable television, thanks to me.
“I guess.” She glanced back at the diner, where Shalene had gone back to work after she’d finally stopped laughing at the situation I’d caused. “There weren’t any tables. I guess we could eat in the car.”
“That’s not a very nice place to eat.”
“Is there a park with picnic tables or something?” she asked, confirming my guess that she wasn’t from around here. Though I’d known that. If she had been, I’d have remembered seeing her.
“I’ve got someplace better. Come on.” I tipped my head toward the side street.
“Where?” she asked not moving. Not trusting me either, I could see.
“There’s a beautiful spot along the river with a nice table and chairs where you can eat.”
“Oh. Okay. That sounds nice. Shall I follow you?” She moved toward the driver’s side door.
“No need. We can walk. It’s only about a block.” In fact, I could see the cupola of the house above the trees from where we stood. I leaned low to duck into the car. “Hey, little dude. Wanna get out of there?”
The song, thank God, stopped as he nodded.
After setting my shake cup on the roof of her car, I started to unbuckle the straps of the car seat as she sputtered behind me. “Wait. I’m not sure—”
She was one of those people who overthought everything. I could see that already.
“Nothing to be sure about,” I said as I hoisted the kid up and out of the seat and set his little sneakered feet on the sidewalk. “Want a piggyback ride or you wanna walk?” I asked him.
“Piggyback ride!”
“Yeah, I thought so.” I laughed and lifted him over my head.
He held on with two sticky fingers in my hair. I probably should have thought that through better, but it was only a block. I’d live.
“You carry the bag of food. I got him,” I said. I knew if I waited for her, we’d be here all day discussing it.
Holding his leg with one hand, I grabbed my shake from the roof with the other and turned toward the side street.
I started down the road and trusted she’d follow. She should. I had her kid.
The blue Victorian-era house appeared in front of us as I heard the fast click of her heels behind. She was having trouble keeping up with me. No surprise. Her heels were high. My legs were long and I was walking fast.
Her kid was kicking me in the chest with every step I took, so if I didn’t want bruises all over me, I needed to get there and unload my passenger. I’d never hear the end of the teasing from my brothers if they saw bruises on my chest. They’d never believe me that I’d gotten them from a kid and that they weren’t hickeys.
When we reached the driveway I slowed and turned to see her rushing behind me, purse in one hand, brown paper bag of food in the other.
“I thought you were taking us to a park.” She said as she looked at the big, ornate house that, between Brandon’s money and my skill and time, was well on its way to reclaiming its former glory. “Is this your house?”
“Nope.”
“Then we can’t stay here. We’ll get in trouble.”
“No, we won’t. It’s empty.”
“So we’re trespassing on abandoned property?” Her eyes widened.
Apparently, this one needed all the answers or she wouldn’t be happy. Good thing she was cute, because she was certainly proving to be a handful.
I had to wonder what the rest of her story was. Was there a daddy in the picture for the little guy on my shoulders? Or was she a single mom and I had a shot with her?
Maybe I’d get that information over lunch. But I had to calm her down first. “It’s owned by a friend of mine. I’m doing some work for him on it today so it’s fine that we’re here.”
She still looked doubtful. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Very sure. Now come on. This kid is hungry and your food’s getting cold.”
She pressed her