Zenith in Love (Zenith Series #5) - Leanne Davis Page 0,5

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Refreshing and rejuvenating, it was why Jim loved being a pastor. It reawakened his love for the community and his leadership in it every Sunday.

In addition, it was also overwhelming and exhausting.

In his heart, Jim was a solitary man. He understood his role as pastor and leader so he allowed people to hug him and shake his hand. Outside of that specific context, however, Jim did not enjoy people touching him. He was pretty huge on personal boundaries. Being a pastor was his calling. So he accepted it without any resistance. Considering his own father, how could he not be?

He slammed his fist into his other palm. No. No reason to think about his father. He was nothing like his father, nowhere near the kind of preacher his father was. In a good way. A great way.

Jim chose to be kind and good. His conscious decision to make the right choices in all aspects of his life was the path he tried to follow. He strove to ignore any urges or feelings that could lead him astray. He tried. Endlessly. All day long. Not to be anything like his father.

He thought he was finally successful. Choosing a church with principles as far from his father’s dictates as he could find, he surrounded himself with people like himself. His fiancée was the very embodiment of goodness, piety, decency, virtue, honesty, and integrity.

Even if Jim weren’t as emblematic of all those things, he was proud he could recognize the value in them. He tried to improve himself by drowning his mind in it. He scrubbed out all the other things in his head. The thing he was taught and raised to fear the most. The one thing that he had to avoid at all costs.

Evil.

Kathy had no clue. She thought his parents died when he was in his teens and he’d spent a few years in foster care. He was wrong to lie. Especially to her. She never lied about anything. He knew that. But if she knew his real history, Jim doubted very much she would stay with him, not in good conscience. So he was willing to commit a sin by lying to Kathy about it. He had to hide who and what he really was.

The spawn of Satan. Literally.

How could anyone forgive him? If anyone knew the sordid details of his life and what flowed in his veins, who could possibly care enough to love or forgive him? If Kathy understood his true identity, she’d want to scrub herself raw for allowing him to touch any part of her.

Never mind that he was strictly careful to barely touch her.

Not much past her hands, arms, shoulders, and maybe her back.

She didn’t argue with him. She was the only young woman he knew who never tried to question him or insist on more affection. Especially as their relationship progressed. Jim couldn’t tell her the truth. Or touch her.

Once they were married, perhaps the security of her being tied to him would give him the courage to tell her. She would take his confession to her deathbed; of that he was sure. Jim didn’t think he was tricking her. Or betraying her… Although he knew it was wrong to continue putting off some things.

How could he tell her who his real father was? If he admitted it, she and anyone else who knew would look at him with open distrust, disgust and suspicion. That’s why he needed to marry Kathy… for redemption. To be the man he wasn’t born to be.

Chapter 2

AFTER THE SPRING QUARTER of her Master’s program in business, she would have just one more quarter to finish the next fall. She completed a high intensity capstone project last year, and now she had only a few general electives left to fulfill before she’d have her degree.

And holy shit. In the three months since she’d been gone, big things happened, including her sister’s choice in boyfriends. Now Kathy liked Eric James. Her bodyguard. When Kayla returned after a few months, she found her sister mastering the art of silent-talking and all but eye-fucking Eric, her big, burly bodyguard. He stood at the back of the church and she performed her solo on the piano. But Kayla could read the whole story. Eric was congratulating Kathy. He looked like he was transported by her solo. No singing, just playing the piano.

And Kathy looked right at him when she finished for his smile. She wanted his approval and