grabbed me by my throat and held me against the wall. She was holding me up so that my feet couldn’t touch the floor.”
He dropped to his knees in front of her, taking her hands. “Oh God, baby.” He was shocked by the scene she described.
“I couldn’t yell, I couldn’t breathe. She was holding my neck so tight. She was yelling at me so hard that she was spitting on my face. I was bleeding because her nails were digging into my throat.” She raised her hands to touch that area.
“Oh dear Lord, Hale.” He wrapped his arms around her. God, he could feel her body shaking. He held her tighter.
“I tried to love her, she was my mom, but God, I hated living with her. I was terrified when I messed up and sometimes, I didn’t even know that I had made a mistake.” She sobbed into his neck.
“Jesus, Hale, why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?” He couldn’t even begin to understand what her home life had been like.
“How could I? I still don’t know how to explain that she tried to kill me.” She squirmed so he loosened his hold. “Why I wasn’t good enough and she wanted me dead.”
“I knew about the wreck, but you never seemed to want to discuss it.” He stood and moved to sit beside her.
She leaned into his body and he automatically wrapped his arm around her. “The first thing I did when I got to Florida was find a therapist. Honestly, I wasn’t lying when I told you that I felt broken.”
He said nothing, hoping she would keep talking. He continued holding her to his side.
“I still obsess and worry about making mistakes. I’m better now, I learned to use coping exercises, but that fear is still there.”
“I can’t believe that this was happening to you. Didn’t anyone step in to make it stop? Where was Joe? Jesus, what was Poppy thinking? They left you with that woman?” He wanted to march back into the family room and yell at Moe. They’d left Hale, a little girl, alone with a monster.
“I didn’t tell my dad. They fought a lot and he would stay out in the fields working. When she was away in treatment, things were so nice at home. Then she would come back and it would turn to shit. It was confusing, and you know small towns and their secrets. Nobody wanted to see or talk about the terrible things a woman from one of the best families was capable of doing.”
“Don’t take responsibility for any of it.” He shook her gently while fighting hard not to show her his anger. He couldn’t remember being this furious.
“Finn it was a long time ago. I understand the avoidance of dealing with her. I don’t like it, but I understand it.” She was holding onto his forearm that he had wrapped across her stomach tightly.
“How did you come back, knowing that so many people let you down?” Christ, why didn’t anyone tell him about this? It changed everything.
“I had to come back. This is my home. It’s where the people that I love live.” She laid her head on his shoulder.
Fuck, could it be that simple? How could she live through that and forgive? “Jesus, I don’t even know what to say, Hale. I mean, I didn’t know any of this.”
“In the beginning, I didn’t want you to know about it. It felt so good that you didn’t know all of that when you looked at me. Then when I started to notice that I wasn’t handling things very well, that parts of me were broken, I wanted to tell you, but I was… I don’t know, ashamed. I was so embarrassed that I was such a weak victim. And, Finn, I was scared. I was so scared that I was getting sick like my mom. They said that it all started slowly in her early twenties.”
Holy Fuck. “Jesus, Hale, you were going through all of that and I didn’t even notice?” God, he was such an idiot, he’d been so wrapped up in the trial and himself.
“I didn’t want you to see it. I didn’t want anyone to see it. I was terrified that it was starting and soon I might be screaming and banging my head against a wall until it bled.” She held his arm tighter. “For years I couldn’t tell anyone how scared I was. I finally told Dad and he cried.” A sob