Before You Ghost - Helena Hunting Page 0,25

smell her.” He pointed at the top of the cliff with one bony finger.

And he was gone. I flashed so I was right next to Sammi. She scrambled up from her knees and turned to face Morven.

“That’s right, always on your knees, taunting me.” Morven threw his hands in the air and the mountain got darker. Both Corbey and Kackley backed up, guns drawn, but they had them pointed at the ground.

I wrapped myself around Sammi, my back to Morven. “He’s here and he’s mad. He thinks you are cheating on him with me. Remember that Michigan said ghosts get mixed up?”

And then I was pulled away from her, not allowed to envelop her in my essence. I was tied—but there were no ropes—to a nearby tree. Morven advanced on Sammi just as the cops were hit with a miniature dirt tornado.

My girl was out there all by herself, and no one was going to be able to help her.

I felt hopeless, when all of a sudden, Morven started flinging his hands around. The rabid raccoons appeared. The pee your pants lightning was summoned. And then, finally, the cursing birds filled the trees.

Michigan stumbled onto the scene. He ran to Sammi and pulled her to his side. Sammi turned toward his chest and buried her face in his sweatshirt. He was in civilian clothes, but still reporting to duty. I was both grateful and hateful at the same time. I couldn’t hold her anymore, but at least she had someone with her.

Morven was ramping up again, growing taller and more echoey. His black eye sockets became the size of ponds, his screaming mouth, a river.

I couldn’t fight him. I couldn’t even get away from this tree. Sammi was doomed, because all Michigan could do was be a human protector.

The ship sailing in on the strong gusts from the sudden storm was huge, old, and fairly majestic. On the bow was a wooden carving of a manatee wearing a wig. Manning the mainsail was Neck Gash and One-Eyed Brains was on the cannon.

I wasn’t sure to be filled with dread or hope until Sharkbait screamed, “Fire at will!” to Brains from the helm, jutting his sword in the direction of Morven.

Morven turned his mighty head and let out a horrible laugh as the first ghost cannonball bounced off of his chest like a tennis ball.

Shit.

Michigan was on his phone, shouting out orders and requests for a helicopter while the raccoons surrounded him and the dirt tornado kept the other cops busy. The furry terrors shifted their weight from one back paw to the other, hissing low in their throats.

Corbey and Kackley began yipping as the Urine Bolts started filling their tornado like an ice cream cone.

The birds hooted from the trees in a cacophony of curses.

“Fuckstick sorcerer!”

“Asswip tortoise!”

“Stanky vag goblin!”

And then Morven turned his head toward Sammi. “You will be mine again. I will have your soul in the palm of my hand for eternity and you will apologize every second of every day for ever letting him,” he pointed at me and the birds shouted in chorus, little pecker, “touch your lady parts.”

There was a moment when Sammi’s anger was building that no one recognized but me. When Sammi was about to snap. She had had enough. I’d seen this buildup before. When I threw wet towels on the bed, and more violently when a woman from work sent me a suggestive text she’d meant to go to her husband.

When Sammi was scary, she commanded the room.

“Enough!” she shouted like a fifth grade teacher ten minutes before retirement. “You—I can see you now… you no eyeball having bully!”

She pointed a closed fist in the right direction. The dirt tornado had been tossing a fine dust in Morven’s direction. She could see him.

Morven paused, maybe catching sight of the giant ghost craft. Sharkbait took the moment to settle his ghost ship near the edge of the cliff and he, Gash, and Brains snuck off the gang plank and onto the mountain while Morven was distracted.

“You cannot give yourself to others. You are mine!” Morven was clearly a fucking caveman. Sammi only liked that shit on very specific occasions where there were safewords and velcro.

Sammi lifted her shirt and bra in one defiant movement. “Boobs! Boobs, you giant asshole. I’m giving them to everybody!”

She shook those glorious friends of mine, and there was a deafening silence on the mountain.

Even the birds went quiet, except for one small one. “Pompous slut clown!”

She took