You Are My Reason - Willow Winters Page 0,64
been mixed with an almost offensive amount of creamer and the color matches my cream accent pillows at home … just the way I l.
With a grateful smile, I accept it and blow over the top, inhaling the smell and trying to feel normal. Or as normal as I can, all things considered. Kat’s busy reading over the manuscript on her phone, but whether or not it will do is nowhere on my mind. All I can think about is the fact that Mason was there for me, so many times. He needs someone right now. The only question is whether or not he’d let me in.
She murmurs the lines as she opens the book.
Sweet lies you told me, beautiful forever.
A dream or a terror, I craved it, whichever.
A taste so sweet, too much to say no,
I couldn’t resist and you couldn’t let go.
Your healing touch and comforting kiss—
But I never thought it would end like this.
Kat tilts her head, her lips stopping midpoem and she gives me a questioning look as she says, “Is this one about Jace?”
The book was supposed to be about mourning and loss. It is, but it’s a deceptive cocktail of the two men. I loved and lost both of them.
All I can do is take a sip of coffee and try not to choke on the lie as I say, “I don’t remember.”
“So have you heard from him?” Maddie asks me, thankfully saving me from Kat’s interrogation.
My ponytail swishes along the crook of my neck as I shake my head no. He got the message that we were over after I repeatedly refused his calls. I don’t think he’ll ever reach out to me again.
“Have you called him?” Maddie asks.
“Not yet,” I tell her. “Or, no. No, I haven’t.” Thump, thump, thump, my poor little heart won’t stay where it’s supposed to and I hide in my coffee cup again.
Her voice is hopeful as she scoots forward, the sound of the stool scratching against the floor making an annoying screech. “You should.”
“I don’t know ... I want to. He was …” I trail off as I run my fingers up and down the cup and stare at a lone muffin in front of me. I haven’t eaten since I heard about Mason this morning.
“I think you should,” Maddie says softly.
“I think you should shut your mouth and let things happen as they should,” Sue bites out and Maddie merely gives her a look of defiance.
“She breaks up with him and he falls apart—” Maddie looks like she’s about to go off on Sue, but she doesn’t get much out.
“Stop it,” Sue says. “That’s not her fault.” Sue points at the paper and adds, “This has nothing to do with Jules.”
“You don’t know that.” Maddie’s response is soft as she looks down to her own blueberry muffin and picks at the top of it. “Everyone’s saying he’s heartbroken.”
“Jesus, Maddie!” Sue snaps. “Jules, this is not your fault and you don’t owe him anything. Don’t go back to a man because of guilt.” Her voice cracks and her eyes hold a warning. “Please. If you want to reach out to him, do it for any other reason than feeling guilty or like you owe him.” There’s a tear at my chest, an open wound knowing Sue is speaking from experience.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt him, Maddie.” I can’t respond to Sue right now, my throat feels tight. “I didn’t think he’d care, to be honest …” I don’t know if that’s true. I wasn’t thinking of him when I ended it. I was only thinking of me. Of my anger. “It just happened so fast and it was too much.”
“There’s nothing wrong with fast,” Kat says, surprising the three of us. It’s then that I notice she hasn’t moved past the first page. “Evan and I got engaged in three months.”
Their story was a whirlwind romance. Everyone’s story is different. Maybe this is regret or guilt pushing me toward Mason, but it’s different from what Sue went through. I swear our story has to be different.
My heart begs me to stop, but I have to ask them a question that’s kept me up the last three nights I’ve dreamed of Mason. It’s killing me slowly and carefully, destroying everything I thought I knew. “Isn’t it wrong to fall for someone else so quickly after Jace?”
“No,” Kat says and shakes her head. “It’s wrong to throw something away because you’re afraid of it, though.” Her voice is