smile fades. “Not exactly.”
“What did you do?” I can hear the hint of a laugh in Becky’s voice through the phone.
“What makes you think I did something?” One of the gossiping ladies shoots daggers in my direction before whispering something to her friend. I didn’t mean for my voice to get that loud, but we’re outside—not in a damn library. Still, I hush my voice. “I mean, I did, but why’d you think that?”
Becky laughs. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, but that’s beside the point.”
“I remember reading something once—if you have a boy, you only have to worry about one penis. If you have a girl, you have to worry about all the penises.”
“See? I’m right.”
“Yes and no,” Becky says. From her tone, I can tell she’s treading carefully. “It’s not just any boy, it’s Beau.”
“You’ve never met him,” I remind her. I’ve been trying to get Becky to come down with us for years, but she always has an excuse—usually some guy she just started dating. “You should see all the girls on his Instagram.”
“What if they’re his friends? In my dating experience—and you know, I’ve had a lot of it—some of the best guys have more girl friends than guy friends.”
“These aren’t the friend kind of girls. The bathing suits they wear barely cover anything.”
Becky laughs. “They’re teenage girls who live on the beach. And it probably says more about them than him.”
“If it were anyone else, I might see your point,” I tell her. “But he’s a player, just like his dad.”
“He’s a fifteen-year-old boy,” Becky says. “And he can’t be that bad if he’s got some Jill in him, too.”
“That’s pretty much what she said,” I tell Becky, remembering the cold, hard look on Jill’s face. “But—”
Becky cuts me off. “No buts, buttercup. CeCe’s her own person, and she’s going to make a lot of choices in her life. Some that you’re really not going to like. In the long run, this isn’t that big of a deal. Plus . . . never mind.”
“What? You can say it.” I take a sip of my watered-down latte and try to brace myself.
“It’s just that, I know you’re losing the love of your life, but she’s losing her dad.” My eyes well up and I nod, even though she can’t see me. “Life is hard enough when you’re an awkward teenager without all this going on. So let her have a little fun. I’m sure she can use the distraction.”
I nod again.
“You still there?”
“Yeah.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and shift the phone to my other ear.
“Aren’t you going to ask me how I got so smart again?”
I laugh. “I really do miss you.”
“Duh,” Becky says. “Now go make things right with Jill.”
“Yes, boss.”
“I love you,” she says, which starts the waterworks again.
“I love you, too.”
I hang up feeling better than I have since I had my big idea yesterday. I didn’t even think to tell Becky about it. I’ll call her back and fill her in soon, provided I can pull it off alone since Jill clearly won’t be helping me.
She still hasn’t called me back, not that I can blame her. I’m the one who owes her the apology; I should be doing the calling. I tap her name to call again. My breath catches when I hear her voice.
“Hi,” she says.
“I am so—”
“It’s Jill, and I can’t get to the phone right now, so leave a message. Or better yet, send me a text.”
My face falls and I hang up without leaving a message. I won’t send her a text in case that feels too pushy or needy. Even though I really do need her.
I rest my head in my hands and focus on my breathing. It helps, but not as much as a conversation with Jill would.
I look up as the older couple walk by, holding hands on their way out. The woman stops by my table and reaches into her purse, handing me a Kleenex. She doesn’t say anything, just smiles and keeps walking.
After using the tissue to wipe my eyes, I make a quick stop in Sephora to fix my makeup so Tommy won’t be able to tell I’ve been crying.
He’s got enough on his plate without having to worry about me.
Chapter Forty
CeCe
A security guard stops me at the front gate where I’m supposed to be meeting Monica. The pale blue house is at least twice as big as ours, but it’s got the same beachy