Yes Chef, No Chef - By Susan Willis Page 0,120
everyday bolshiness that Jessie and Simon accepted as normal chef’s behaviour. She could see now that she shouldn’t have thought he was verbally attacking her as his ex-girlfriend but merely as a member of his team who was making a cock-up with his food.
Thinking of her father, she wondered how he would tackle this situation and how she could get Tim to open up and talk? If only he would tell her about it, then they could move forward and she’d be able to understand him better.
She probed gently. “So, how long has the shouting and losing your temper been going on?”
He took a deep breath and started at the beginning; the night of the Savoy party, Jim stealing from the restaurant, and then settling personal issues with his father and Jenny, how he had never been able to cope with any type of rejection because of Sally and his mum leaving him briefly - he told her everything while she sat quietly listening and understandingly nodding her head.
“And the only way I could relax was by having a drink, which of course caused its own problems. You see Kate, I’ve had to learn how to handle people and make them want to work for me rather than against me.”
“Hmm, I can see that with Jessie and Simon,” she murmured giving him a reassuring nod to carry on.
He shuffled awkwardly in his chair. “And, well, because you are always the consummate professional and brilliant at everything you do, I couldn’t bear telling you what a mess I was making”.
She was shocked and dumbfounded when she realised Frances was right and he felt undermined by her in a professional capacity. “But Tim, I’ve made loads of mistakes at work,” she said. “Maybe not so much now after years of experience but when I first started I made some real corkers!”
She spread her hands out on the table towards him in a conciliatory manner shaking her head slowly. “Jeez, I wish you’d told me all of this before. I mean, we should have tried to talk about it?”
“Well, most of it has happened since you left”, he said, looking vulnerable and dropping his head and shoulders in shame. “I know I should have told you and when I think of how I took it all out on you when we were together...” Slowly and deliberately he shook his head and then whistled through his teeth as if he still couldn’t believe how badly he’d behaved.
“Oh, Tim,” she murmured. His defences were not just down now but well and truly flattened and her heart melted for him.
“I can’t bear to think about how awful I was to you and what’s even worse is that a lot of it happened in a drunken stupor and I can’t even remember it clearly – which in itself is disgusting. Please believe me, Kate, it’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my life”.
She saw the pain shaped in his slumped shoulders and finally knew that he’d admitted his fault in the breakdown of their relationship. If this had happened the day after she’d walked out she might have felt some type of victory or satisfaction but looking at him now she couldn’t. All she felt was a great sadness to think that as close as she’d always thought they were he hadn’t felt able to talk to her about what was happening.
“It’s ok, I wasn’t completely blameless in the situation either,” she said. “I should have tried to be more understanding and I should never have walked away without at least talking to you first. My Dad always said I’m too stubborn for my own good, and he was right.”
Her big gentle eyes looked watery with tears of sympathy and tenderness. And because he couldn’t cope with her pity he looked up and said in a more buoyant voice, “No Kate, none of this was your fault. But don’t worry, I’m working my way through things and I’ll be fine.”
Her mind was spinning with everything he’d told her and stalling for time she stood up and went to the sink to fill a glass of water. From what he’d told her he’d obviously been on a massive learning curve since they’d parted and it was no wonder he’d been struggling to cope. But at least they were talking, she thought; they weren’t screaming and shouting at each other and he wasn’t being blasé and arrogant. Feelings of relief and pure joy flooded through her when she