Yes Chef, No Chef - By Susan Willis Page 0,103

Arsenal football strips and shouting at each other.

He ran his hands through his now short but thinning brown hair. "It was a disaster! That's the only word I can find to describe it, Katie, a complete and utter bloody disaster."

Wondering if he had dyed the red out of his hair she set a mug of coffee in front of him and sat down opposite. "Why? I mean, what went wrong? It wasn't anything to do with the food, was it?"

He picked his mug up and sipped the hot coffee. "No way, the food was really cool," he said. "It was probably the best thing of the whole afternoon."

"Oh good," she said sighing with relief. "Come on then, tell me the rest?"

As she settled more comfortably onto her stool and put a packet of biscuits in front of him John told her his sorry tale.

"I’d imagined this idyllic scene where we’d sit in the summer afternoon under the shade of a willow tree and I'd smile seductively at her and hold the gaze from those bright blue eyes of hers, and then slowly try to get my hand…” realising what he was saying he stopped short. “Sorry, Katie,” he apologised and smiled sheepishly at her.

Remembering how he'd been leering down Julie’s cleavage in the car she grinned back at him. "It's OK. Go on."

"Well, I admired her hair and her green dress and we chatted during the drive out of town and through the country lanes to the edge of the wood. The sun was already hot and the sweat was standing on my forehead by the time I’d carried everything to the spot under the tree and sat next to her on the rug, but I kept telling myself it would all be worthwhile. We opened the hamper and while I’d set the plates on the rug I’d reminded her that when we were married she’d often complained that I hadn’t a romantic bone in my body. But I stressed the point that I had changed and was really pleased she was giving me the chance to prove it to her. She told me I was jumping the gun and she’d only agreed to a picnic and nothing more. And then when I’d pressed her about whether she was seeing someone, she wouldn't give me a definite answer."

He paused now and swallowed a few mouthfuls of coffee while Katie’s previous high spirits started to sink; if Julie was seeing someone, was it her Tim? She smiled encouragingly at him to continue.

"Then we enjoyed the Pinot Chardonnay, which had always been her favourite, and she was impressed with the fact that I'd remembered and we opened the food from the cool box. She told me that we’d been far too young to get married and it was no wonder we'd had so many problems and we tucked into the parfait and mushroom terrine on that gorgeous bread, which was delicious."

Katie nodded and smiled her appreciation at the compliment secretly thinking if Julie was seeing Tim she could only hope the bitch had choked on it.

He picked a biscuit out of the packet dunked it into his coffee and then pushed the whole soggy mess into his mouth and munched. "Yep, I’d thought it was going swimmingly at that stage and after we finished eating she’d stretched out on the rug and when I laid down next to her and she didn't push me away I’d hoped she was up for it. She moaned gently and I reckoned it was worth taking a chance and kissed her long and hard."

Katie was rapt now and wanted him to get to the end. She had to know if Julie was seeing Tim. She interrupted, "So, she isn't seeing someone else then?"

He shuffled uneasily and drained his coffee mug which Katie immediately topped up from the cafetiére.

"I'm just getting to it, Katie," he said. "Because that’s when it all fell apart. I snaked my hands up to the opening in her dress and was so damn close to, well you know, and suddenly felt a sharp stinging pain on the top of my head. I cried out because it was an effing wasp stinging my head and it hurt like hell so I scrambled up onto my knees and began to panic. She’d jumped up at the same time and grabbed a napkin, rolled it up and swiped the wasp off my head.

“Jesus, the pain made my eyes water it hurt so much," he said