me. If you had returned tomorrow, then I would have left tomorrow. Whilst there was even the slightest chance that I might have reason for hope, I had to take it, because I knew myself to be in love with you.’
‘When did you know?’ she asked.
‘I believe it started on the day I first saw you. You looked so appealing when you rode away from me on your bicycle that I couldn’t help being stirred by you, but it was only when I came to know you that I realized how deep those stirrings were: not just the stirrings of my body but of my heart and soul. And by the time of the Manor ball I knew that what I felt was love.’
‘You knew it so soon?’ asked Cicely in delight.
He nodded. Taking her arm he led her out into the garden.
‘I had been denying it until then, telling myself that what I felt for you was respect, friendship, admiration, concern - anything but love. But the night of the ball changed everything When I saw how upset you were at the idea of the tree being cut down, when I realized the Manor was not just a house to you but a home, as the tenement I grew up in, for all its faults, was mine, my heart ached for you. I wanted to fold you in my arms and promise you that I would never let anything change. My heart was already yours by then but I would not admit it. It was not until I saw you with Gladys that the last of my defences were stripped away.’
He saw her puzzled look and explained, ‘I had been denying my feelings for you by reminding myself that you came from the landed gentry, a class of people who had wrongly accused my sister of theft and turned her off without a reference; a class of people I despised. But when I heard you talking to Gladys I realized that I couldn’t have been more wrong in thinking you were the same.
‘You not only comforted her, you were determined to make sure she didn’t suffer by being wrongly accused. I could no longer hide from my feelings by telling myself that you would have turned against my sister. I knew it to be false. And with the last of my defences stripped away I had to admit the truth: that I was in love with you.’ He paused. ‘And then Chuffington told me that you and he were engaged. In the space of a few seconds I went from a glimpse of heaven to the depths of hell.’
‘So that is why you were so distant when I told you of my plan to trap Goss.’
He nodded. ‘I was angry with you for having agreed to marry a man you didn’t love, and angry with myself for having allowed myself to fall in love with you. And so I made up my mind to forget about you. But then you came up with a plan for trapping Goss and I couldn’t resist, even though it would mean being with you. Something I felt unequal to.’
‘As I felt unequal to being with you,’ Cicely admitted. ‘Every time I saw you I wanted —’ She broke off, confused.
‘Yes?’ He turned to face her.
‘I wanted you to take me in your arms and kiss me.’
‘Like this?’ he asked, suiting the action to the words.
‘Yes,’ she gasped as he finally let her go. ‘Like that. But then you accused me of being about to marry so that I could live at Parmiston Manor.’
‘I should never have doubted you.’
‘If Chuff Chuff told you we were betrothed, you had no choice,’ she sighed.
‘Yes, I did. I should have asked you if it was true. I tried to do it, but I could not bring myself to say the words. Because I could not bear to hear the answer.’
‘I understand.’
He kissed her again. ‘We will live at the Manor, and not a thing will be changed.’
Cicely smiled. ‘There are some things I would like to change,’ she said.
‘Name them, and it will be done.’
He led her back inside, and together they talked over the plans for the Manor. The Manor had brought them together, and it was only fitting it should be their new home once they were married.
‘And when it is done, we can hold our wedding breakfast there,’ said Alex with satisfaction. ‘The first celebration we hold there together will be to celebrate our