started and You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound Dog pounded out, leaving me a nervous wreck until a flash of pink made my eyes long for sunglasses as Vince strode onto the catwalk with five other male models all in neon-colored suits.
A huge cheer went up which sent the six rescue dogs that the models were walking into a lather, barking, howling, snarling and snapping in fear. The models were equally panicked, not knowing whether to go forwards or retreat, let the dogs go or drag them. Vince stopped in the middle of the catwalk and held up his hand to the five other models. It was complete chaos as dogs pulled at their leads, growled and barked at the audience.
I slapped my hand against my forehead: it was a disaster! I’d told Vince not to include dogs!
But then he raised his right hand with his thumb, second finger and pinkie finger sticking out like horns, the other two curled under, and he started humming loudly, staring at the dogs mesmerizingly as he gradually lowered his hand.
I grabbed Rick’s arm. “What’s he doing?”
“Uh, it looks like … I think he’s doing Crocodile Dundee.”
“What the…?”
And sure enough, all six dogs turned to listen, then trotted up to Vince and sat down in a line in front of him. The five other models finished their walks looking relieved, and Vince strode down the runway with all six dogs trotting behind him, as the music changed to I’m Too Sexy just before Vince ripped his off, sending buttons flying, then flexing his muscles at the audience before heading off stage.
“I bet you’ve never seen that before,” said Cady.
“The striptease or the impersonation of Crocodile Dundee?” I shook my head. “No and no, and I’m still not sure I believe it even though I’ve seen it. Oh crap, Cady! You and Rick are up next and you’re not dressed!”
Cady’s zipper was still stuck and Rick was desperately tugging at it.
“Aagh! That pinches!” she squealed. “You’ll have to walk in front of me so no one can see and…”
“Let me,” I said, shouldering Rick out of the way, releasing the caught fabric and pulling up the zipper. I slapped Cady on her ass. “Go! Walk that catwalk!”
“Yes, boss!” she yelled as the music for Lady and the Tramp started.
Rick seemed slightly miffed but Cady slapped his ass, and they were off down the runway with Tyson tugging Cady, and Zeus trotting along in front of Rick.
A huge cheer went up and Cady waved to the audience. She’d become even more popular since her incredible efforts to run the New York Marathon last year had gone viral, and she’d raised a ton of money for veterans, too.
Tyson towed her down the catwalk, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as usual, and Cady went with the flow, teetering slightly on her high-heeled sandals, but catching her balance at the end. Rick followed with tiny little Zeus looking like he’d been born on the catwalk, the dog, not Rick, who looked self-conscious and uncomfortable as well as unconscionably hot.
They got to the end of the runway, posed, turned, and then the leads got tangled. Cady was laughing her ass off and Rick’s beautiful grin was seen at last as he scooped Zeus into his arms, while the audience sighed at the sweetness of it all, then burst out laughing again as Cady let go of Tyson who went charging up and down the catwalk, assuming everyone was there to see him.
Suddenly another dog appeared, an escapee from backstage, and Tyson completely disgraced himself by trying to mount the Collie-Alsatian mix named, appropriately, Delilah.
Vince sprinted onto the stage dressed only in a pair of tighty whities, waved at the audience and dragged a grinning Tyson from the catwalk.
Delilah wagged her tail and followed them. I wondered if our insurance covered puppy maintenance payments.
Sisters Bella and Gigi were up next in their Cri de Coeur outfits, showing everyone how it should be done, leading their beautifully behaved mixed-breed dogs, Mitch and Sparky, with smiles on their faces. And I realized how unusual it was for models to grin like that, but the sisters looked happy, and I wasn’t sure if it was the dogs, Vince’s enthusiasm, or they were just having such a darn good time.
It was the perfect example of what a runway walk was supposed to look like. I sighed with pleasure at seeing two professionals at the top of their game, and sighed even more when