enough to place my hand over his to hold on to.
“I’m okay,” I told him quietly as the others bantered around us.
“I know this.”
My smile grew. Of course Adrik knew. The man was confident he would bring me out from the darkness. I liked that about him. I liked a lot of things about him.
I quickly looked down at the table when my eyes got watery.
Adrik was my rock. My strength.
He was my knight in shining armor.
He was a light in my darkness.
It was impossible not to fall for him. Even though it had only been a short amount of time, my feelings for Adrik were strong.
It scared me. I feared he would see I wasn’t worth it, but that was my own insecurity. I was blessed Adrik saw something in me I couldn’t yet find myself.
Sniffing, I discreetly wiped my eyes on my shoulders. My back twinged from the move and brought a grimace to my face. Clearing my throat, I picked up my one and only beer. “Here’s to Lucas and how he’s going to kick ass in the exams.”
Lucas’s eyes shone over at me. His smile wobbled a little. He wished I was taking the exams with him. But as I’d explained to him, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, and I wasn’t sure I ever would be. I wouldn’t give up my dream of becoming someone who would help people, but I needed time to think about what I really wanted.
Death had said he was ready when I was to take me on in the security office where I would have a job watching surveillance cameras. It paid as well as Polished did. I hadn’t told Adrik as yet. It was only a couple of days ago that Death mentioned the job when he wasn’t around. But really, anyone could guess I would never go back to Polished, even when I’d healed, because of my scars.
I wasn’t at the stage where I was supposed to be proud to wear them because it apparently showed how strong I was. To me, they were ugly and reminded me of a night I wanted to erase from my head. It reminded me of parents who tortured their son because they believed he sinned.
I couldn’t wait for the day those marks on my skin wouldn’t disgust me, anger me, upset me. Until then, I just had to keep going. Even at my darkest times when I thought about ending my life, I knew I wouldn’t, because… well, I wanted to live.
I wanted to love.
That special kind of love that Lucas and Kylo had.
That special kind of love where only one person was made for you.
And I couldn’t help but think that Adrik might be that one for me.
He’d stuck with me when I was cruel and mean. He’d stuck by my side since that day, and it wasn’t him wanting to fix me. He was patiently waiting, willing to be a part of this fucked-up situation and to be there for me when I finally found myself. Found peace.
He cared before the attack.
He wanted me when I’d wanted him, right from the start.
Why else would a man have someone watched? It wasn’t that he didn’t trust me. He was watching over me.
I had completely fallen for Adrik Mikhaillova, and knowing this, I reverted into a young schoolboy with his first crush. I fumbled and bumbled around him, stuffing up my words and actions.
It was lucky I knew Adrik found me amusing… well, if his lip twitches and smirks were anything to go by.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever understand what Adrik saw in me, but it must be something special, because he slept at my side every night. He read or would talk when I wasn’t in the mood, even when I’d been a prick and ignored him.
Though, it was always hard to ignore Adrik.
My psychiatrist always got this small smile on his lips when I spoke of Adrik, especially when I explained how stubborn and annoying he was because he wouldn’t leave me alone. I was sure he found everything Adrik did cute.
Like when I told the psychiatrist I had been in a mood and wanted to be left alone, and Adrik didn’t listen because he’d heard my stomach growling and thought it was a good idea to have a picnic in my bed where he got crumbs everywhere.
Then again, after I’d discussed it and now thought of it, I did find it cute also.
Adrik got my heart