but sports are not my jam. I don’t think of myself as a girly girl, but I’m not trying to get skinned knees and broken nails.”
She burst into laughter. “Don’t I know it. I would never ask you to do anything so horrible as playing a sport.”
“Thank god.”
“You need to think about what kind of difference a man in his life would make,” she said.
“What?” I said with confusion.
“I think it’s time to start dating.”
I cringed. “I’d rather pick a sport.”
“I know we’ve talked about this before and I’m absolutely certain you are the best mom ever. You give him all the love he needs but what if there was more he could have? I am all about women’s empowerment and all that, but there are some things that a daddy just does better.”
“Like what? I can work on those things.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Unless you plan on sprouting testicles and growing facial hair, there are some things you just can’t do.”
I groaned. “I don’t have time to deal with men. I’ve barely got time to spend with my son.”
“Don’t you want a man?”
“No,” I answered.
“Yes, you do. I do.”
“No, I don’t. There is too much drama with men. I don’t want to deal with dating. It’s messy and confusing. I have to think about what to wear and what to say. I can’t introduce anyone to Jace until I’m certain they are worthy. I’m not going to have Jace on my dating merry-go-round.”
“That’s fair, but you have to get out there.”
“I’m seriously so busy right now,” I said. “I can’t date. I don’t have the time to take Jace to a movie or anything else. I can’t go to a movie with a man and leave Jace with a sitter.”
“First of all, I don’t think of myself as a sitter and we both know I would be the one to watch him. Secondly, I’m not saying you need to rush out and get married right now. I’m saying you just need to start getting used to the idea. Get your head around it now, and on April sixteenth, you get your ass out there.”
“Very funny,” I said. “What about you? Are you going to get out there?”
She laughed. “I have a little girl. She doesn’t care about the dad thing as much as a boy does.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” I said.
“Not a good enough excuse?” she said with a laugh.
“No. Not even close. I’m just going to have to try harder. I can do better. I’m going to figure out how to work less.”
“That might work, and I’m sure he’s going to be just fine, but a man in his life might make it easier.”
I frowned at her. “You are really pushing this man thing.”
“I am.”
“I’m not going to run out and pick up a man at the market,” I said. “I’m waiting for Mr. Wonderful to waltz into my life. It’s going to be easy. We’ll meet and fall in love and live happily ever after.”
“Oh, sign me up for that plan,” she said with a laugh.
“I’m seriously considering that app Tanya used.”
“What about work?” she asked and quickly changed subjects.
I groaned and looked up at the ceiling. “It is a mess. Nash is next level asshole. I really thought there was a limit to his dickishness.”
“Dickishness?” she repeated. “Is that a word?”
“It should be. He is like the fun police magnified. He hates anything that brings the employees joy. I seriously go into work every day and wonder what new hell he is going to throw our way. I don’t understand why he wants people to be miserable.”
“Maybe he’s miserable,” she suggested.
“Don’t shrink him,” I said. “He is not worthy of being shrunk. He is a bully and gets off flaunting his money and power. Do you know he had the audacity to completely redo his office? He had new furniture brought in. He had it painted and the carpet ripped out. That kind of expense is okay, but we can’t have a five-dollar box of donuts in the breakroom.”
“He sounds like a douchebag.”
My eyes widened. “That’s not very professional.”
“You said I didn’t have to shrink him. That means I can talk smack about him on your behalf.”
I grinned. “Thank you.”
“Let’s go play with the kids,” she said. “You have got to see this big Yahtzee game. The dice are the size of Jace’s head.”
“That sounds, um, weird.”
“It’s awesome. You’re going to love it.”
We spent the next two hours playing her massive yard game.