probably only a few weeks, but it was a very dark time. Those days changed me.”
“How so?”
“In a lot of ways,” I said and remembered the days I sat on my bed and cried while she suffered. “I knew I was never going to go through what she did.”
“With your father leaving?”
I nodded. “Yes. She was left with the burden of me. She didn’t get to just walk away. I mean, I suppose she could have, but she didn’t. She was the one that was stuck trying to figure out how to keep a roof over our heads. I didn’t know it at the time, but my mom stopped working when she was pregnant with me. My dad made her all kinds of promises that he would take care of her. He didn’t. He failed her and I believe the stress of that time killed her.”
“It must have been very difficult. I’m sure it brought you and your mom really close.”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I think we both harbored a lot of resentment for each other. I was convinced she hated me because I made my dad leave her.”
“Nash!” she exclaimed. “You can’t possibly believe that.”
My eyes darted to Jace. I wanted to make sure he was focused on his movie and not my sad story. “I do believe it. I was a huge disappointment to my father and he never missed an opportunity to tell me. I used to think I could have done better. I could have tried just a little harder to be the son he wanted. I will tell you it messed with my self-esteem back then, but I figured it out fast. He was not worth my time. He made me more driven than I could have ever been without his hatred of me.”
She was shaking her head. “I am glad he left you guys,” she said. “I know that sounds awful, but he would have destroyed your spirit.” She leaned forward with a small smile on her lips. “I kind of like the arrogant asshole thing. Cocky is my thing apparently.”
“Then I’m your guy,” I said. I resisted the urge to kiss her. I didn’t want to confuse Jace.
“Thank you for telling me your story,” she said and put a hand on my thigh.
“I didn’t tell you to gain sympathy. It is what it is.”
“I know but I’m glad you told me anyway. And thank you for this trip. This isn’t something I get to do with Jace. Our big outings are a trip to the beach or maybe going upstate for a night. This is exciting. I know he is going to remember this for a long time to come.”
I was feeling brave and decided to take a chance. “I took a lot of shit from kids when I was his age. Some of them knew about my dad leaving and they used it to make fun of me. I can spend some time with you and Jace to give him a male figure in his life. I’m not trying to be his dad, but I know I could have used a male friend back then. I won’t overstep. I’ll just be around. When he can’t talk to you about something that’s bothering him, maybe he’ll talk to me.”
“I would like that,” she said. “He will love it as well. It’s what he needs. I appreciate that you’re willing to take the time. I know you’re busy.”
“I’ll make the time,” I said firmly.
Chapter 61
Saige
I grabbed my purse, waved to the receptionist, and walked to the elevator. I loved this time of year. Things were slow at work. This was the time I got to use my personal days. I was grateful Nash let me keep all the days I had banked, even though I quit for a week.
I checked the time. It was just after one. Jace and Caitlyn both had their after-school STEM class today, which meant Joss and I had a few hours to hang out and do a little shopping without the kids underfoot. I loved my son, but shopping for mom stuff with him complaining about it taking too long did not make for an enjoyable experience.
I got to her house and saw the sign on her door. That was the signal she was with a client. I helped myself to a bottle of water in her kitchen while I waited. A few minutes later, she was finished. “I didn’t think you’d actually make it,” she said