The Women Who Ran Away - Sheila O'Flanagan Page 0,118

she had. And if it wasn’t going to be the man I thought was the love of my life, it was definitely going to be a baby. So all of my reasons were the wrong ones.’

‘Don’t beat yourself up about it,’ said Grace. ‘Everyone goes a bit nuts from time to time. And Deira, maybe the reasons you wanted a baby seem shallow to you now, but perhaps there was something more fundamental going on with you. Perhaps you did always want a child.’

‘If I did, I’ve left it too late.’

‘Not necessarily.’

‘I think I have,’ said Deira. ‘And I need to face up to that. I need to face up to me. But I’m too bloody tired to do it now.’

She closed her eyes. And as dawn broke over the mountains, she fell asleep.

When Grace woke from her own fragmented sleep later that morning, Deira was still out for the count on the lounger, shaded from the sun by the wide canopy that extended over the patio. Grace had a shower and got dressed and then, as Deira was still sleeping, went to breakfast without her.

Charlie Mulholland was at a table with two other men when she walked into the breakfast room. He looked up and saw her, acknowledging her with an almost imperceptible nod of the head. She could see that he was looking past her too, obviously trying to work out if Deira was with her. She supposed he was relieved when he saw that she wasn’t.

Grace selected an assortment of fruit and yoghurt and sat at a small table in the corner of the room. It occurred to her, as she peeled an orange, that the last few months of her life had been filled with the kind of drama that she’d never associated with a woman like her. A suburban mother and grandmother. Someone who always put other people first. Even though it had been a wrench to give up her job with the airline, she’d always assumed that being a wife and mother was what she was supposed to be. And she’d been happy doing it, at least most of the time. But now she was a widow and her children were grown up, and her husband, the man who’d orchestrated the direction of their joint lives for so many years, had no say in matters any more. When the great anniversary treasure hunt was over, that would be the end of Ken telling her what to do. Was it wrong to feel a certain excitement about that future? Was it wrong to think that perhaps there were new opportunities ahead? A different kind of life for her?

‘Hi.’

She looked up and saw Charlie standing in front of the table. She remembered how jealous she’d felt when he’d seemed interested in Deira and not her, even though Charlie was so much closer to Deira’s age. She wondered if there was an age at which people didn’t think silly thoughts, do silly things, want impossible outcomes from the situations they found themselves in. She was beginning to doubt it.

‘Hi,’ she said in return.

‘Is Deira around?’ he asked.

‘She’s still asleep,’ said Grace. ‘She had a late night.’

‘Yes—’

‘I heard.’ Grace interrupted him. ‘She’s mortified about what she said to you.’

‘So she should be.’

‘She’s been going through a rough time.’

‘Even so.’

‘Can I tell her that you’re not thinking of her as the batshit-crazy baby lady?’

Charlie grimaced. ‘It’s a good description.’

‘Her own,’ said Grace.

‘You can tell her what you like. We’ll never see each other again. I’m heading back to France now, but I didn’t want to walk out of here without saying hello and goodbye to you.’

‘That’s nice of you,’ said Grace. ‘Good luck with France. I’ll keep an eye out for the documentary, especially the bit you did here.’

‘It’ll be broadcast in November or December,’ he said. ‘Nice to bring some warmth and sunshine into people’s homes in the dead of winter.’

‘Absolutely.’

‘Well, goodbye,’ said Charlie.

‘You got on well with her,’ said Grace. ‘Deira, I mean. Before she lost it.’

‘I liked her,’ admitted Charlie. ‘But—’

‘Don’t judge her,’ said Grace. ‘Everyone’s very quick to pass judgement these days, and we don’t always know what’s going on in each other’s lives.’

‘I’ll try not to.’ Charlie gave her a quick smile. ‘But batshit crazy is a fair assessment.’ Then he turned away and followed his two companions out of the breakfast room.

Grace poured herself another cup of tea and waited for Deira to appear.

She showed up seconds before the buffet was cleared, and