The Women Who Ran Away - Sheila O'Flanagan Page 0,102

in her before she’d taken an irrevocable step.

‘You won’t tell Mum, will you?’ asked Bex.

‘Of course not.’

‘You don’t think I’m a whore, do you?’

‘No! Bex, sweetheart, of course I don’t. How could you even think that?’

‘I had sex with someone I hardly knew who’s going to marry someone else. And I got pregnant. So I’m . . . I’m . . .’

‘He had sex with you when he was engaged to someone else. And he got you pregnant. He’s as much a part of it as you, even though you’re the one who had to make hard choices,’ said Deira. ‘Don’t for one minute blame yourself.’

‘Thank you.’ Bex sniffed. ‘Thank you for saying that. Thank you for understanding. I knew you would.’

‘Bex, did you have this done yesterday?’ asked Deira. ‘Had you come home from the clinic when Gavin turned up?’

‘Yes,’ said Bex.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Deira said. ‘You should have been able to stay there in peace and quiet, not have Gavin tramping around the place like some kind of wrecking ball.’

‘Oh, it’s OK,’ said Bex. ‘I went to bed when he left. I . . . Well, your sheets need cleaning. I put them in the wash today, but they’re not—’

‘Will you not worry about stuff like that!’ cried Deira. ‘I’m more concerned about you, Bex. Is your friend still with you?’

‘Lydia? Yes, she’s here. She’s outside at the moment.’

‘Good. I’m glad there’s someone there for you. Do you want me to come home?’

‘Oh God, no!’ exclaimed Bex. ‘I mean, please don’t. I’m fine. Lyds has been great. She organised everything. Of course we didn’t expect Mum to want to come to Dublin too when we arranged it. We thought we’d fixed it to stay longer than her by planning a second interview, but we wanted to be sure she’d go home. So before we left I bought tickets for the new Disney movie and Lydia pretended to Lucia that she’d won them in a competition. Mum had to go back to bring her to it.’

Lucia was Bex’s twelve-year-old sister, and a Disney fanatic.

‘Lucky she agreed.’

‘Oh, you know Mum,’ said Bex. ‘She’s into her Disney too. I knew she’d want to go.’

‘I applaud your ingenuity,’ said Deira.

‘I wasn’t ingenious at all,’ said Bex. ‘I’m an idiot. I’m the girl no girl wants to be. But,’ she added, ‘I sorted it. I know there’s lots of people who’d disapprove of me and say that I was selfish and that I should’ve had the baby, but I couldn’t. I’m doing really well in college. I have plans. And I can’t . . . I wasn’t ready for this.’

She was right. There were plenty of people who opposed abortion on any grounds, at any time, for any woman. But they weren’t the ones who were pregnant. And they weren’t the ones who’d have to live with it for the rest of their lives. During the referendum to legalise abortion in Ireland, Deira had agreed with all of her friends and acquaintances who said this. She believed it herself. And yet even though she knew Bex had done what was right for her, her own heart was breaking.

She stayed on the phone to her niece for another twenty minutes, reassuring her that everything was fine, that she’d done what was best for her and that nobody else needed to know. And she told her that she could stay in the house for as long as she liked. By the time she ended the call, Bex was looking and sounding if not happier, at least a little less stressed.

It was Deira who lay on her bed and cried.

Chapter 27

Toledo, Spain: 39.8628°N 40.0273°W

Stretched out by the pool, which was set in a large lawn enclosed on two sides by the hotel building, Grace was suddenly aware that Deira hadn’t come to join her. She wasn’t bothered; she was perfectly content with enjoying the spectacular views towards the town, and dipping in and out of her book (having finally finished The Sun Also Rises, she’d moved on to a Joanna Trollope she’d bought on board the ferry and was enjoying it immensely). About a dozen other people were taking advantage of the warmth of the afternoon sun, including a dad and his two young children, who were racing each other up and down the pool. Every time they reached an end, he shouted encouragement at them and they turned to do another length.

It reminded her of the times that Ken would swim with the children on