more sharply. “This is not Tess. Mia is nothing like Tess. If you really can’t see that, then you’re not only a jackass, you’re blind.”
“Please,” Mia said softly, taking a step toward Jenner. Only a single word. But she was asking for everything. And right now, he couldn’t see anything but what had come before. He’d let his guard down once, and people had died. So had a piece of himself.
He couldn’t risk that again.
“Whatever you think,” she said quietly. “You’ve got the real me. The magic is just...extra.”
“I figured out a long time ago that I can’t believe something like that just because I want to,” Jenner replied, every word twisting like a knife in his heart. “I can’t risk it. I just...can’t.”
“Jesus, Jenner,” Bane growled, pulling his attention back to the fact that they had an audience. “Mia, look, I’ll take you back to my place. You haven’t hurt a soul here. You’ve got the benefit of my doubt, even if you don’t have his.”
Mia nodded, but her eyes, so big and dark, were only for him. He could hear her in his head, as intimate as a caress.
“It meant so much to me.”
“I can’t,” he said hoarsely, hating the fear in his voice. Knowing, even now, that it wasn’t her he was afraid of.
“All right. I’ll go get my things. But I want you to know...” She trailed off, then simply shook her head.
“Bane is right. I’m not Tess, Nick. I’m just Mia. And for the last time, whether you believe it or not, I’m sorry. I trusted you, too. I might have been afraid, I might have made a mistake. I just didn’t think it ought to matter. I didn’t want it to matter.”
He didn’t know what to say. He needed time, damn it. He needed to sit with this until he was doing more than just reacting, sitting here nearly mute because all he could do was feel. So much of him wanted to just grab her and hope that holding on was the right thing. But he had his own kind of shadows in his past.
“Come on,” Bane said. “I’ll drive you out to his place and we’ll get your things. You can bunk with me until everything is sorted out.”
“No. I’ll drive,” Jenner interjected, surprising both of them. He didn’t know why he said it. But he didn’t question the instinct. Damn it, why couldn’t he ask what he needed to ask, say how he really felt? Why hadn’t he taken her someplace else to begin with?
Hurt, confusion and anger all mingled into a toxic stew. And still, he couldn’t allow anyone else to watch over her. Not yet. Not until he’d said his piece, too. And the words wouldn’t come until they were ready. Bane gave him a warning look.
“I need to do this,” Jenner said. “I have some things to say. I need a few minutes.”
“You don’t have to,” Bane told her.
“No,” Mia said. “It’s fine. I’m not afraid of him, no matter how he feels about me.”
Then she turned on her heel and headed for the door, head high. Jenner watched her go, and for the first time in years wondered whether he was trying to protect his pack, or himself.
But from the way he felt right this moment, plenty of damage had already been done.
* * *
He sat quietly in the corner of the living space in his cabin, legs splayed out on front of him. The curtains were drawn, blocking the sun that shone outside. He wanted no more to do with sunlight after this, Jeff decided. Only night, and darkness.
At least it was quiet now. He’d sent Pete and Jay into one of the neighboring towns for supplies. Sy was slinking around in the woods, imagining himself as an all-powerful night creature and waiting for Jeff to meet him. Sy, he would need to drug soon, while the others were gone. Blood was needed to begin the ritual—a lot of it would be, by the time the night was through—and those with the fewest brains got to be first in line. The man was stupid enough for it to be easy, at least.
Oh well, Jeff thought. He’d be giving his life for the noble cause of bringing a new age of darkness to this world.
And Troy...well, he wasn’t exactly sure where Troy had gone. He hadn’t been in the cabin when they’d all gotten up yesterday. His things were all still in the room the men were