so I was standing, almost falling over when I realized I had four feet to balance on. As I did, tumbling into the leaves he’d settled me in the night before—that I could remember. Maybe it was the noise which triggered the memory?—he leaped forward and made to help me stand.
“You’re still going to be shaky on your feet,” he muttered, watching me to make sure I wasn’t going to fall again before he took a step back. “You should be resting. I’m not sure why you’re not.”
Well, if he was confused, what the hell was I supposed to be?
With my weight distributed between the front and rear of my body now that I was standing, it felt weird, but what I reveled in was the lack of pain. The relief and the freedom from it made me realize just how much it had bogged me down, ruining every part of my day with its taint.
The pain with fibromyalgia was unbearable because it was everywhere and nowhere. I couldn’t point to my elbow and say, “I twisted it playing tennis when I was fourteen, and it’s never been the same since.” How could you describe the pain when it was like a hive in your bones? One that had wasps surging out to assault you? To invade every nerve ending until an attack could have you feeling as though your entire being was shutting down?
But here? Now? I was free, liberated, and even if I was terrified about why I was like this, even if I knew the story about how it had happened was going to be beyond nuts, I was mostly just happy.
Happy.
I was pain free. What wasn’t to celebrate?
He cleared his throat. “I’m going to try and get you to shift back.”
A growl escaped me at that, because I’d stay like this forever if it meant never experiencing my illness again.
The man frowned, then sighed before he crouched down in front of me. As he did, I eyed him all over and recognized the expensive cut of his clothes, the fineness of his boots—clothes he felt comfortable storing in some hole in the forest floor.
He had money.
A lot of it.
I recognized that because, conversely, I had none.
Still, it wasn’t his fault that I made a pauper look rich. So instead, I just enjoyed the pull and play of the denim covering his legs as it bunched at his groin.
I totally looked.
Shoot me.
“I think we need to start things off the right way. I’m Eli.” He reached over like he was going to take my paw in his hand and shake it. Well, that’s what I thought at first, except instead, he fondled my ears, tickling them in a way that had my tongue wanting to do something weird.
In fact, beyond weird.
I couldn’t stop it from dropping out of the side of my mouth, and I couldn’t stop the keening sound I made as he scratched a little harder.
A laugh escaped him, but it wasn’t mean, and truth be told, I was glad to hear it. He looked so sad, and I wanted to take that sadness away so badly. It was almost as though I could feel his sadness deep inside me.
Huh.
Now that I thought about it, there was no pain in my body, but there was a bizarre feeling. A kind of energy. It didn’t belong to me, but I sensed that it didn’t belong to the wolf either.
What it was, I had no idea, but I jerked back to the present when I realized Eli was talking and I wasn’t listening.
Shit!
“—this is my pack, and I’m the alpha. I know you must be scared, but there’s no need to be. Whoever did this to you will be caught and punished but, in the interim, you are a part of my people now, and I will not only keep you safe, but I’ll also do everything in my power to ease this…” He winced. “I want to say transition, but I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. How scared and confused you must be.
“The choice was taken from you by someone who had no right to make the decision to do what they did. I can only apologize for them and—”
Wait, was this guy for real?
He was apologizing for something he hadn’t done, when he was the only person trying to help me? To guide me through this transition, as he’d called it?
Because words were literally beyond me, I stepped closer to him on legs