sudden outpouring of words tried to make up for two hours of silence in the span of two minutes.
He’d heard it before, her ramblings on the belief that people would take her seriously once she succeeded, that if she did well, they would respect her. What he didn’t expect was that this time he was a part of her thought process.
“If I lose, it will reflect directly on you, which is all the more reason I need to do well. Everyone will know you’ve taken over the training. Though I’ve heard you talk to Mr. Barley. You make most of the training decisions anyway. I don’t know if that’s common knowledge. Now anything that happens will be attributed straight to you. People will know they’re your ideas.”
Panic crawled up his throat. He did not need her thinking about him in connection to her life or how her actions affected him. Could he make the outcome turn out the way she hoped? After the race, could he convince a few people to give her a chance? Maybe.
“Monday we’ll run a lap before the official training hours. Remind people you are a serious threat. They’ll be watching you differently now.”
She nodded. “I won’t let you down.”
“I’m not worried about that.”
“Well, I am. If I cross the finish line clinging to Equinox’s neck again, it will look like you couldn’t teach me. They won’t consider that it might have been because you’ve never ridden sidesaddle.” She tossed him a grin. “Or have you?”
Aaron coughed. He should let go of the horse and step back. He should.
But he didn’t. “No, I’ve never ridden aside. I’ve balanced a horse through plenty of turns, though.”
“One would think I’d excel at anything involving balance, but riding in a race is different from anything my father taught me.”
She did what Aaron couldn’t, dropping the reins and leading the way back to the gate. As they walked, she chattered about the differences between riding in the circus and running in a race. Interspersed were small bits of information about what her life had been like before.
He found those more fascinating than the equine discussion.
Instead of opening the next gate, she hopped up on the fence. “See? My balance is spectacular.” She put one foot in front of the other and walked along the rail. “When we first joined the show, there was a balance walker. She taught me a few tricks that made standing on Rhiannon’s back easier.”
Her ramblings had turned to telling happy stories about the circus, and while he was glad to know her time there wasn’t all bad, he didn’t like how his fascination with listening to her was distracting him from ensuring she stayed safe. If she fell now, the height would be like toppling from the back of a horse. She could hit her head, break a leg, hurt her back.
She hopped from the support down to the crossbeam, and it wobbled beneath her foot. She bent over, arms spinning through the air as she adjusted her balance. That was enough for Aaron. He grabbed her about the waist and lowered her back to the ground.
That was a mistake. His gaze held hers as the sentences tumbling from her mouth stuttered to a halt. Was she thinking about the kiss too? Had she thought about it since then, like he had?
No. He did not need the idea of them both lying awake, staring at the ceiling, pondering what might have been if things had been different. He did not need any part of him wanting to make things different.
She still had one foot hooked on the fence rail, so he held his breath as he pulled her the rest of the way down. Her breath rushed past his ear as he lowered her to find her footing.
Though he knew it was a bad idea, he allowed his eyes to remain fixed on hers, watching the emotions swirl openly across her features. The greedy side of himself enjoyed that he wasn’t the only one struggling.
Her lips parted, and she licked them.
His heart pounded and the roar in his ears signaled the threat, as if a charging horse were bearing down on him. In a way, it was. If he didn’t find her a better life, she would destroy him. Trample him and every protection he’d built.
He stepped away, fingers trailing lightly from her body. The separation made his heart seize and caused that strange sensation to pierce him once more.
He cleared his throat before he