Wings of the Walker - CoraLee June Page 0,138

body felt constrained by my tight dress. If Tallis weren’t here, I would strip down to my undergarments for relief.

“I’m just better at channeling my efforts, dear. It’s a skill you’d do well to learn,” Jules replied in a pretentious tone.

Her demeanor both confused and infuriated me. I was jealous of her ability to keep calm and collected. Although she looked upset, Jules didn't have the restless energy that Tallis and I had. She remained still and pensive, only occasionally piping in to ask for updates. She didn’t respond to conflict like everyone else, it just made her cruel but calm. Perhaps it was a conditioned response.

“Will you two stop?” Tallis pleaded, checking his tablet. It had become a cycle of sorts. Tallis scolded us, then checked his tablet for updates. Jules kept pushing. She wanted a fight, and I was about ready to give it to her.

“Sorry,” she mumbled halfheartedly, and he rolled his eyes in response, obviously not fooled by her attempt at an apology.

“And, uh—Ash. The tapping is a bit nerve-grating. Perhaps you could expel some energy with a walk?” Tallis politely suggested while eyeing Jules.

That was another thing I’d noticed during our time together. There was much between the Scavenger and Mistress Black. They weren’t obvious in their affections, aside from the kiss they shared the day Jules recorded her plea for help. However, Tallis subtly found ways to show support while giving her space. I’ll admit that it made me jealous to see their easy relationship that didn’t need words. He provided her gentle yet consistent emotional support. I wished one of the guys were here to help me cope with the stress of not having them.

On shaky legs, I stood and began pacing. They didn’t like the tapping, but I needed to get rid of all this pent up energy somehow. My eyelids felt heavy with exhaustion, and sweat dripped down my forehead. I needed rest, but I couldn't keep still.

"Here she goes again," Jules groaned while watching me pace. I felt her judgmental stare, but I couldn’t be bothered enough to care. “I think this is worse than the fidgeting.” Her dark eyes followed my movements as she puffed out air in frustration.

"I just can't sit still," I said softly, still pacing. With each step, the wood beneath my feet creaked and groaned at the force of my stomping steps. Jules winced at the noise.

“Maybe you should try to sleep, you look terrible," Jules added, scrunching up her face. I forced myself not to roll my eyes. Despite the less than stellar accommodations, Jules looked clean, polished, and prepared for whatever would come. Luckily, there wasn’t a mirror in the safe house. Otherwise, I was afraid my own reflection might scare me.

"Maybe you should sleep," Tallis agreed. "I promise to wake you if I hear anything." He, too, followed my pacing with annoyed eyes.

My desire to do something was wearing them down, but I ignored their frustrated scowls. There was no way I could rest knowing that Cyler, Maverick, Patrick, Jacob, Kemper and Huxley were somewhere in danger. I needed to know that they were ok. I needed them here with me.

Jules let out a long and low sigh. I sensed another snide comment coming, so I decided to put some space between us. "I'm going to walk outside," I said while making my way towards the door. Despite their curious stares, Tallis and Jules didn't argue with my need for open space. I knew that they were relieved to have a break from my compulsive fidgeting just as much as I felt relieved to be free from them.

I paused at the cracked door and tightly gripped the handle while collecting myself. The past two days were full of these little moments. Moments of doubt, crippling fear, and grief. I took in a deep breath, pushing down all the negativity, and opened the door. I’ve spent a lifetime in control of my emotions, and I didn’t plan on losing that now.

Outside, the ground, covered in red dirt and sand, was so dry that dirt kicked up with each step. I walked around the debris and dead plants, following the trail my boots created as I restlessly paced the perimeter of the safe house. Fear for the ones I loved settled deep in my gut. Each step pounded my anxiety deeper into my bones. I wanted to cry out at the injustice of it all. I finally found a home, a family. Requited love.