Wildest Dreams - By Rosanne Bittner Page 0,14

on her feet, enjoying the feel of her breasts against his chest as she slid down his body. "I don't think so, Lettie. I think both of us will suffer for a long time, missing each other, wondering if we did the right thing after all, for us and for Nathan. Marry me, Lettie. You know I've been wanting to ask you for the longest time. Come with me tomorrow. I'll be the proper gentleman all the way to Fort Laramie. I hear they have preachers and priests there. That's where we'll marry. If for some reason we're sure by then that it's wrong, I'll see you get full escort back into Colorado to find your parents in Denver. Otherwise, we'll go on into Montana from there. But even then, I swear I won't touch you until you want to be touched."

Lettie closed her eyes. She put a hand to her forehead, turning away. "How can you talk about being a proper gentleman around me? You obviously don't need to be."

"Don't say things like that. What happened to you was no more your fault than if you had been shot that night."

"I wish I had been." Her voice broke on the words, and she took a step away from him. "Except for Nathan." She sniffed and drew in her breath to stay in control of herself. "Back in St. Joseph, our minister told me Nathan is a gift from God, in spite of how he was conceived. I've had to convince myself of that, or hate him. He's such a sweet, joyful little boy, and to him I'm just Mommy. How can I not love him?"

Luke watched her, his eyes full of compassion. "That's just one of the reasons I love you, Lettie. You're a woman of great courage, and with a tremendous capacity to love."

"I'm not all that courageous. Part of the reason we left St. Joseph is because I couldn't bear the stares and whispers any longer. No man wanted me as a wife. The couple of men who did try to court me soon showed their true colors. They figured since I kept the baby, I must not have minded the rape. Maybe I enjoyed it. Maybe I'd enjoy it again."

The words were spoken with deep bitterness, her fists and teeth clenched. "But it's just the opposite. I've hated the thought of being with a man, any man! You all think I enjoyed being raped. Well, I didn't, do you understand? I hated it! It was painful and ugly and humiliating. I vomited!

I screamed and I fought and I vomited, and don't think that just because I kissed you, that I'm some kind of loose woman who—"

He grasped her arms, jerking her around. "You're the woman I love and want to marry. Would I feel this way if I thought that of you? I won't have anyone thinking that of you, nor do I think it! And I won't have you think of yourself that way, either! In your heart and soul, and in my eyes, you're as pure and untouched as before any of that happened."

Lettie stared at him, shivering. Then she crumbled, collapsing against his chest, savoring the feel of his strong arms around her, the luxury of being truly loved and respected, the way she would have wanted any man she would marry to feel about her, something she never thought she would find again.

Luke let her cry for a few minutes, rubbing her back. "Tell me how it happened, Lettie. Get it out in the open."

Lettie forced herself to have courage, deciding he might as well know. "I ran to the barn that night," she sobbed. "Father tried to stop me... but I had a horse that was... precious to me. I saw men going into the barn. I knew they were going to steal Dancer, and I... thought I could stop them. They were... carrying torches. One of them... a man with white-blond hair... had Dancer by the reins. I... tried to grab the horse away from him... but he just grabbed me, laughing. He pushed me into the hay... and the others... held me down."

She cringed, feeling ill at the ugly memory that was as vivid today as three years ago. "When I first went out there, I wasn't afraid... because I thought all they might do was hit me or something, and I didn't care. I wanted to save Dancer. I didn't know anything about men... and I never even