I was still surviving. I had somehow survived several terrifying encounters with a mysterious beast, I’d found a job, I’d made at least one friend, and I’d opened myself up to the most mind-blowing sex I’d ever had with the two most gorgeous men I’d ever seen.
I wasn’t thriving, but I definitely wasn’t sucking at life.
Maybe…I actually was a badass.
The thought was life-changing for me. It was like years of self-torment and self-disgust were lifted from my shoulders in that moment. A giggle escaped from my mouth, and soon, Miyu and I were both laughing, although I wasn’t sure she actually knew why we were laughing.
“I’m kind of a badass,” I shouted with glee, springing from my seat and dancing around the room.
Miyu jumped out of her chair as well, pressed a button on the wall, and music suddenly started. Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” blasted from speakers in the wall.
We danced and laughed, and I allowed myself to dream about a life that didn’t include Alistair or any thoughts of him. I allowed myself to dream of a life where I laughed and danced with abandon, where I lived life without fear of the past or the future. I allowed myself just to be.
It was one of the best moments in my life. And the happiness sparking inside of me…I welcomed it like an old friend that I hadn’t seen for a very long time.
And it welcomed me right back.
We danced for an hour and then finally settled back into our chairs, where Miyu went back to work on my nails. I felt closer to Miyu after my revelation, like me letting go of my self-hatred had made room for me to actually be the kind of friend that I wanted to be.
“I slept with both Wilder and Daxon this week,” was the next thing I decided to blurt out.
Her eyes widened. “Girl, you are goals,” she said, beaming as she knocked the pink polish away and grabbed a bottle of deep red. “I’m painting your nails red because you are the freaking goddess of sex. Now tell me everything.”
So I did…with the exception of my suspicions about Daxon. If I could really call them suspicions at this point. I also left out the emotions that had been exchanged and the whole mate thing with Wilder. That felt a little…too private.
Basically, I stuck with dick sizes and sexual prowess in my story.
“Who was the best in bed?” she asked with a grin after I was done.
I shrugged, unable to answer. They’d both been equally mind-blowing in different ways.
“Lucky bitch,” she exhaled as she painted another nail.
“So how are you and Rae?” I asked, feeling bad that we’d done nothing but talk about me this whole time. Miyu just had this air about her that made you want to curl up and tell her all your secrets. It was the perfect gift for someone who owned a salon. All her clients basically got to engage in a therapy session every time they came in.
“Ugh, I guess he wants to marry me or something,” she said like she was annoyed.
I raised an eyebrow. “And that’s a bad thing why?” I asked. She and Rae were basically the cutest thing ever. He seemed to love every ridiculous and wonderful part of her, which sounded pretty great if you weren’t super damaged inside about relationships like I was.
Vulnerability shone in her gaze for a moment, and she looked away.
“Hey,” I said softly, leaning in since I couldn’t reach out and touch her while she was still working on my nails. “What is it? Are things not good?”
She smiled sadly. “Things are wonderful. He treats me like a freaking queen. And he loves me. He really loves me.”
“But…?” I pressed.
“But he’s not my fated mate. And what if his fated mate, or my fated mate, suddenly appears years from now, after we’ve been happily married for years. What if we have kids and that happens?” She bit her quivering lip to stop from crying. “We would be ruined. I just… My dad was married before he met my mom,” she blurted out. “He was out grocery shopping, getting something his wife needed for dinner, and he saw my mom. She was his true mate. He and my mom tried to resist the bond. But no matter what my dad told himself, he couldn’t ever feel the same way about his wife after that. And she couldn’t stand to know that every time he was