aunts are worried.”
“They don’t need to be. I’m fine.”
The look Pop Pop gave him told Padraig he didn’t believe that lie for a second. “Health-wise, I suspect you are fine. But we both know there are different types of ailments.” Pop Pop paused for just a moment before adding, “I know what day it is, Paddy. I just wanted to say that I miss that lovely girl too.”
Padraig swallowed heavily. Pop Pop had been one of his main sources of support—along with Colm and Kelli—after Mia’s passing. They’d both shared a similar grief, losing their wives far too early.
“Three years,” Pop Pop mused.
Padraig nodded. “A long time.”
Pop Pop shrugged. “Time is relative.”
Padraig didn’t know how to respond to that, so he didn’t.
Pop Pop absentmindedly rubbed his knuckles. He suffered from arthritis, the result of a lifetime spent working with his hands. “I spoke to Kelli this morning. Apparently she and the girls went over to Emmy’s last night, armed with margaritas.”
Padraig gave his grandfather a ghost of a smile. “I’m glad they were there for her. I—” Padraig’s throat closed painfully. She would need friends, since he couldn’t be there for her himself. Even though it felt as if he’d ripped his own heart out, he knew that breaking things off was for the best. Walking away before…before things got too serious was better. For both of them. “I fucked up. Hurt her. Broke things off badly.”
Pop Pop sighed. “I heard. Paddy…” he started.
Padraig waved his grandfather’s words away. “I know what you’re going to say, Pop Pop, but it’s not going to change anything.”
“What do you think I’m going to say?”
“That I overreacted.” Padraig knew he had. He’d seen those test results and lost his shit. He should have taken some time, calmed down, approached Emmy with a more level head. Maybe then he wouldn’t still ache over the pain he’d caused her.
“I don’t think you overreacted, lad. I think you reacted the way anyone would when faced with their greatest fear.”
“My greatest fear,” Padraig repeated as he considered something he hadn’t before, something he wanted his grandfather to confirm. “What’s my greatest fear?”
“Losing someone you love.”
“I don’t think…” Padraig started, wanting to deny it but knowing he couldn’t. “I did overreact. But I wasn’t wrong. I can’t do it again, Pop Pop. Can’t feel that pain.”
“And that’s why you reacted the way you did. But, my dear lad, that’s not a choice you can make, not something you can control.”
“Actually it is. It’s why I walked away,” Padraig insisted, wondering if Pop Pop realized he was helping him make his case. “You have to see that. Have to understand that, right? I walked away before either of us could get hurt.”
“Oh, I think it’s safe to say that ship has sailed.” Pop Pop leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Emmy makes you happy. That girl loves you. She’d give you the world if you’d accept it. But you’re throwing that away because you’re afraid. You can’t let your fears rule you.”
Padraig refused to listen. “When I saw that letter from Emmy’s doctor, it brought up everything. Everything Mia went through. All the pain she suffered, that she’d been forced to endure. It wasn’t fair to her. None of it was fair.”
“You went through all that too, Padraig.”
Padraig shook his head, but Pop Pop forged on, refusing to accept his denial. “You suffered too,” his grandfather said insistently.
“You don’t understand,” Padraig argued, running a hand through his hair, certain it was standing on end after too many days lying in bed.
Pop Pop rubbed his jaw, a sadness in his eyes that Padraig didn’t see too often. His grandfather was good at masking his darker feelings, never letting those he loved know he was sad or upset. Padraig had watched him shutter away his desolation over the fire at the pub countless times during their trip to Ireland.
“Of course I understand. Better than perhaps anyone. It wasn’t easy for me to watch Sunday suffer all those months. To see the cancer slowly eating away at her, consuming her until there was nothing left. The love of my life was dying by inches, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to save her. That sort of helplessness leaves a deep, deep scar.”
“If you know that, then why…” Padraig wasn’t sure how to word his question.
“Why am I asking you to risk that pain again?”
Padraig nodded.
“Because you’re young, and there’s a beautiful, sweet woman just a few blocks