coffee in my belly became tumultuous, like the waves at sea rushing angrily over the ocean’s surface. It rose higher and higher, as if it might threaten to come back up. Still, I twisted the coffee in my hands, kept my fingers in contact with the smooth cardboard.
It all came out. Every bit. From the moment I woke, to the way we had sex, to the way Erik kept me close to him. How even now, if Erik knew, he’d be furious that I had left the house. And how he refused to let me know about my past, even though I desperately wanted to.
The last word fell from my mouth, and my shoulders slumped. I’d never been able to tell anyone any of this. Erik had been the only constant in my life for the last six months. Sure, the people at the grocery store and the tellers and the employees walking the floor were around, but how was I going to explain to a random stranger about the insanity of my life? They’d probably call the police. They’d take me away. Maybe put me in a psychiatric ward, or one of those homes meant to help women and families get back on their feet. And what would happen to Erik? Would they lock him up? Jail or maybe a psych ward himself. My heart ached at the thought.
An odd mix of relief and fear rushed out in the words. Relief that it was out in the open. Fear of what it might mean.
Cooper steepled his hands, pressing the tips of his fingers together. His lips pulled back, and that dimple stuck out of the corner of his cheek. My hands tightened on the cup, pressing the cardboard in, the plastic top popping off from the pressure.
“Am I crazy?”
If nothing else, I needed to break the silence. Get rid of the quiet air between us and replace it with sound. Sound that might have hope. Hope of getting answers. Some sort of answers, whatever they may be. And hope that I hadn’t just made the worst mistake of my life.
Cooper sucked in a breath and let his hands fall to the arm of the chair. “No. I don’t think you’re crazy.”
“Then why am I obsessing over a man who had a case of mistaken identity?”
Obsessing over that. Obsessing over a past I couldn’t remember. Obsessing over a man I shouldn’t want.
But even now, sitting here, scared out of my mind, my chest burning from all the secrets told—I couldn’t deny that Cooper was a very sexy man.
I twisted the gold band on my left ring finger.
“Lenore,” Cooper leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What you told me, it’s a lot for anyone.”
“I know, but I can handle it. Really, I just... I need some answers, ya know?”
He nodded. “You deserve them. But before we move on with this, I think you need to realize something.”
The way he said it had me scooting forward in my seat. The first answer felt like it was right there on the tip of his tongue. Or at least something that would send me in the right direction.
“This might be hard to hear.” He put a hand over mine. "But it sounds like you’re in abusive relationship."
My head shot up, jaw slack as I stared at him in utter shock. I jerked my hand away, not wanting the touch. “What? That’s insane. Erik has never—and would never— hurt me.”
“Maybe not physically,” Cooper said. “But you have no memories prior to six months ago, and he won’t give you any details. Don’t you wonder if there’s any other family searching for you?”
“I asked him about that—”
“And he said there is none right?”
“Right...” Hesitation lingered in that one word.
“And you said he doesn’t want you knowing about the past, because he doesn’t want you to dwell on it.” Cooper scooted forward in his seat, looking at me with intense green eyes. “How do you know it’s not because you wanted to leave?”
My heart thudded, faster than it should be able to, against my chest. The thought never crossed my mind. Even now, thinking Erik might not be the man I loved—the man who I thought would stop at nothing to protect me—it made physical pain sear through my mind. I winced, putting a hand to my temple.
“Are you all right?” Cooper put his hand on my arm.
Goosebumps rippled on my skin, and I pulled my arm away.
The pain faded slightly, and I nodded. “Fine.