except to want a new plaything. A role Jylla was happy to take on.
“Thing was, she needed money, and a lot of it. Her mark was used to highsider women.”
“You gave your money to her?” Cara’s voice rose.
“No!” The windowsill creaked protestingly under my hands. “She managed the business side of things, so she had access to all our accounts at Shasnin House. But that money wasn’t enough for her...somehow, she got into the private account I kept for Melly. She took all that, too. Every kenet I owned. She said I didn’t need it, I’d make plenty more soon as the season started.”
I could remember all too well how she’d stood there in our shared quarters, her things already gone, and told me calmly what she’d done. You think too small, Dev. You always have. Even so, I’d take you with me if I could. But Beren’s the possessive type. He doesn’t like to share.
“Shaikar take that conniving little bitch!” Cara stomped away. I heard the thunk of a knife driven into wood. “Why didn’t you stop her?”
I whipped around. “Fuck, Cara, what was I supposed to do? She had the money out of reach long before I realized it. And when I confronted her, she was wearing a scorpion’s tail charm, thanks to her new lover.” It hadn’t stopped either of us from getting violent when words failed. In the end she’d struck me down with the charm. When I’d come to, my bones still burning with liquid fire, I’d smashed everything I could get my hands on, then drank myself back into oblivion. Yeah, no surprise everybody in Acaltar heard the news. Everybody except Cara, who’d been out on the eastbound route.
“The next day, I got a message from Bren saying he had a job for me. I had four years of lost earnings to make up for, and Melly’s Change isn’t far off. I’d have taken the job for half what he offered.”
There was a long silence. I could feel Cara’s eyes on me, but I kept mine on the floor. The candle had burned down to a nub while I was talking, and the light flickered and guttered on the wooden boards.
Finally Cara sighed, heavily. “You and Sethan, what a pair,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I told you that little bitch was no good, and so did Randen and Loril, but you never listened. Just like I bet Sethan didn’t listen, back in the day.”
My jaw clenched so tight I thought my teeth might shatter. “You didn’t know Jylla, not like I did. If she’s cold and hard as spelled iron, well, she’s got reason. Someone so lightly Tainted as you—Khalmet’s hand, you said you hardly even noticed the Change! You haven’t the least fucking idea what it’s like for a Tainter.”
“Oh, come on!” Cara smacked my shoulder. “You Changed same as Jylla, and you didn’t turn into a raving asshole.” She gave me a considering look. “Most of the time, anyway.”
I got a flash of the bone-deep hurt and betrayal on Kiran’s face, and flinched. I’d done far worse to him than Jylla had to me. Between the two of us, I figured I was winning the asshole competition. “I know I’ve fucked up. I’m trying to fix it—if I can get Kiran free of Simon, that’ll stop him—but...”
I can’t do it on my own, and I need your help. Now I’d come to it, I couldn’t get the words out. I’d hurt and endangered Cara so much already. There had to be another way, one where she’d stay safely clear of this mess. I swung a leg back over the window ledge.
Cara grabbed my wrist. “Whoa, whoa. Where do you think you’re going?”
“I wanted you to know the truth. Now you do. I said I’d leave, after.”
Cara’s grip tightened. “You mean to go up against a gods-damned blood mage by yourself? I don’t think so. You came to ask for my help, didn’t you? I know you too well, Dev. You’d never have told me all this, otherwise. So get back in here, and tell me what I can do.”
I shook my head. “I did mean to ask. But, gods, Cara...the last thing I want is anyone else hurt because of my mistakes. What those mages did to Steffol and Joreal...that could’ve been you.”
“I know,” Cara said quietly. “But you’re not the only one who made a promise to Sethan. He asked me to look out for you, should Khalmet touch him. Try