creativity and equal-mindedness. Must enjoy traveling!”
He smiled down at his new bride and slipped the ad back into his pocket.
“Except I’m not the one who responded to the ad. I was neck-deep in my dissertation at GW. Those last six months, I don’t think I even glanced at a newspaper. Fortunately, I had a roommate.”
Rafe pointed to Table 1. Donnie Washington, former roommate and current best man, stood up (and up and up—he clocked in at six-nine) and took a bow.
“You still owe me!” called Donnie. “I’m still single!”
The crowd laughed. Donnie sat back down.
Rafe continued:
“Donnie responded to the ad. Left a message. Two days later, he and our travel-loving SWF scheduled a date. They agreed to meet that Saturday at a coffeehouse on K Street called the Lemon Yellow. The night before, Donnie ordered takeout. I got chicken and broccoli. He got the shrimp and pork chow mein. And food poisoning.”
Lester surveyed the crowd. His son had them on the edge of their seats. Apparently all that experience in the lecture hall made him quite the orator. Lester admired his boy’s technique—even if he objected to the speech’s loathsome content.
“Donnie didn’t have the girl’s number. You see, when you put a personal ad in the paper, the contact information is for a switchboard at the newspaper. It helps to guard a person’s privacy. Donnie and the SWF had exchanged anonymous messages. He had no way of contacting her directly to postpone the date, but he was in no condition to be more than three feet from a toilet at all times. So he asked me to go in his stead, explain the situation to the mystery woman, and reschedule their date. And I went.”
Rafe looked down at Esme, and clasped her hand in his.
“When I left the apartment that night, I was nervous. You got to understand—by this time I was living and breathing my dissertation. Just the act of driving to anywhere but campus was a big change. I chalked my anxiety up to that. But maybe I knew. Maybe some part of my subconscious was aware of how important the next couple hours were going to be. I showed up at the Lemon Yellow at a quarter to nine…and there she was.”
Was it romantic? Sure. So was Romeo and Juliet, and that ended splendidly, eh? Lester sipped down his champagne. Since Esme didn’t have a family, Eunice had convinced him to foot the bill for this soirée. Talk about adding insult to injury!
“She said in her message to Donnie that he’d be able to recognize her when he arrived because she’d be wearing her FBI Academy sweatshirt. What she didn’t say was how beautiful she was. I walked into the Lemon Yellow and she was sitting on one of those funky old sofas you get at a yard sale—that’s the kind of place this was. She was sitting on one of those funky old sofas and she was listening to music on her CD player. I sat down beside her and asked her what she was listening to. And what was it? The Sex Pistols! The official band of love at first sight.”
Laughter, laughter from the crowd.
“I told her about Donnie. I said how much he wished he could be there right now, although, I added, he hated punk music. But he was a sweet guy, blah blah blah, and I gave her Donnie’s phone number. Now that concluded my responsibilities, right? I mean, I had a monster dissertation waiting for me back home. I didn’t have time to hang out in a funky café, much less buy an adorable girl a coffee. But common sense left the building, ladies and gentlemen, the moment I laid eyes on her.”
The crowd aww-ed and cooed.
Lester swilled down some more champagne. His common sense left the building. At least he admitted it.
“We got to talking. Not about anything in particular. She told me her name was Esme and she worked for the FBI. We talked and talked. I refilled her coffee. Around midnight, Donnie called me on my cell, wanting to know what had happened. I let it go to voice mail. Sorry, buddy.”
Donnie lifted a glass in toast.
“Our conversation continued. That funky sofa was very comfortable. Anyway, suddenly it’s 3:00 a.m. and management is kicking us out. 3:00 a.m.! Well, we stepped out into the night air, but it was obvious neither of us was tired. I asked her if she wanted to take a ride, just ride around.