When Darkness Ends (Moments in Boston #3) - Marni Mann Page 0,63

floor, the screen turned on, showing a photo of Pearl, Dylan, and me.

It was eleven years old. The morning of graduation.

Dressed in our caps and gowns.

“No.” My fingers clenched, hitting the hard floor, unable to stop. “Nooo!”

Forty-Five

Kerry

“He’ll forgive you.”

The words that man had spoken from the other side of the wall stayed with me.

I didn’t know who he was.

I didn’t know how he fit into this equation.

But I’d said more to him and not gotten a response. I’d even begged for conversation, and each request had gone unanswered.

The more time that passed, the more his words repeated in my head, the more the punishment sank in.

And it came on immediately.

No food.

No light.

No emptying of my bucket.

I was stuck in the dark, in the cold, with nothing, except for the cot and Beverly.

Not even a drip of water to wet my tongue.

I’d experienced dehydration in the past—when I went running on hot summer days and didn’t drink enough water. But this was a dryness that took over my entire body, like a hose had sucked out every drip from inside me.

My head pounded.

My stomach churned.

I didn’t think I could survive another minute.

Yet this was what I’d wanted, wasn’t it?

For it all to end?

If I’d thought I was living in hell before, nothing compared to this.

The total darkness was terrifying. Consuming. It took my brain to places I didn’t want to be in.

I screamed.

As loud as I could, I shouted, “Ahhh!”

I wanted to see my hands. The floor. The walls. Things I’d taken for granted while I’d been down here.

Beverly wasn’t enough.

She couldn’t make this tolerable.

I needed him—Ronald—to make this better.

I barely had the strength to lift my head from the mattress.

To open my mouth.

To shout, “I’m sorry!”

I saw stars in my vision the moment my lips closed.

They were the size of freckles, and they moved.

Danced.

I followed them with my eyes, connecting their shapes, listening to their quiet buzzing sounds.

I tried to wet my lips, but my tongue was so dry, like I’d coated it in flour, that I couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Ronald …” I choked, gagging on the thickness in my mouth. “I’m so sorry.” I coughed, trying to make it easier, to feel better. Nothing worked. “I’ll be a good doll.” My eyes closed—even that was too much. “I’ll do whatever you want … just make this stop.”

Forty-Six

Before

Pearl

Only three months until graduation. I was keeping a countdown on the calendar that hung above my desk, each day in red marker, showing how many I had left in Boston. That meant only three more months until Gran and I moved to Manhattan, where I would be auditioning for Broadway, where Brett, my new agent, wanted me to begin my career. He was going to have his assistant send me some apartment listings, so I could find us a place that I could afford. And as soon as I arrived, he was going to start having me audition for commercials and voice-overs, jobs that would bring in a steady income until I could land a permanent role.

Things were happening.

Fast.

And my heart was trying to process all of these new opportunities, the dreams that were on the verge of coming true. But while that was happening, something was weighing down my excitement.

Ashe.

He had applied to three medical schools and was waiting to hear where he would be going. It didn’t matter where he landed; none of the schools were in New York, all would be several hours away from me.

This was exactly what I had been trying to avoid when he pursued me last year, why I hadn’t dated in the past.

The thought of leaving half my heart in Boston—or somewhere that wasn’t minutes from where I lived, like our apartments now—was a thought I could barely handle.

I loved this man.

A love that I’d never expected to happen, but one I was positive I couldn’t live without.

And each time I stared at the countdown, like I was doing now, the number decreasing so rapidly, a wave of anxiety would move through my chest, digging a hole right in the center.

How was it possible that part of me was dreading this move when it was all I’d ever looked forward to?

“Dollface?” Gran called from the living room, dragging my eyes away from the numbers—a break I so desperately needed.

I got up from my bed and wandered down the hallway, sitting next to her on the couch. “What’s up, Gran?”

“Are you feeling all right?” She put her hand on my forehead, checking to see