She rings again and I am furious as I answer, she can’t wait to find out, the nosey bitch.
‘Do you need me to pick up Charlotte?’
‘No,’ I shake my head. ‘Her godmother is.’
She doesn’t ask for a progress update.
I forget to thank her as I hang up my phone.
Eleanor arrives and I look around for Noel but she seems to be here on her own. She must be eight months pregnant but she doesn’t look it, she’s a tiny thing, a composed thing, or she usually is but she’s hysterical now. Luke is trying to get her to calm down, to take a few breaths before she rings her mum, but she’s not listening to Luke, she’s staring at me and demanding to know what happened.
I just sit there.
‘What the hell happened, Lucy?’
I don’t know what to tell her, I don’t know what to say, I can’t even remember how to speak and then Eleanor storms off - she wants more information apparently. Well good luck getting it, I think but don’t say - I just sit there and someone comes in and offers me tea.
It looks disgusting.
It’s in a green cup and it’s definitely not Earl Grey. They must have put in half a cup of milk and I take a sip and nearly puke it straight up.
My head is pounding. I press my fingers to my temples and I close my eyes. Charlotte will be here soon and I think I want to pass out. Luke goes to a machine and comes back with a bottle of water and I take a long drink and then go into my bag. I open my little tin that has a needle and thread and safety pins and things. It should have two headache tablets too but, that’s right, I had another headache on Sunday.
Maybe I should ask a nurse for one.
‘Mrs Jameson?’
The door opens and there’s a doctor with a nurse standing behind him and they come in and take a seat. I think it would be rude to interrupt them and ask for a headache tablet right now, I mean, I can hear Eleanor screaming and carrying on outside and I think that they might have something rather important to tell me.
I’m quite sure he’s brilliant; it’s just his English that isn’t.
I’m honestly not sure if he’s being sensitive, or if he simply doesn’t realise it wasn’t me.
‘The medication,’ he says, ‘put a strain on his heart and the lovemaking…’ I just stare at his face as he tells me. ‘All efforts were made, we did everything we could to save your husband…’ There’s a whooshing sound in my ears and now Luke is holding my hand and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say, I don’t even know how to cry.
My husband is dead and I simply don’t know how to feel.
CHAPTER FIVE
Gloria
I look the best I ever have.
Today, on this day in my mid-fifties, I probably look the best that I have since I was a teenager.
That probably sounds vain but that’s because you don’t know me. I’m not a vain person, but for now you’ll just have to take my word.
I just can’t stress enough, how good I look today.
Better than I did on my wedding day, though that’s not hard because I was three months pregnant and throwing up.
Three kids will soon ruin your figure and since I got pregnant with Eleanor I’ve had a constant battle with my weight. Then, just when I started to get my life back, just when they were getting older, and things should be getting easier, just when he was due for a really good promotion and we could think about a holiday, just the two of us, bloody Lucy came along.
Lucy, with her lovely slim body and long blonde hair.
Lucy, who had her eye on the prize from the get go.
For a very long while after he left, I didn’t care how I looked.
There was too much other stuff going on.
Then there wasn’t even that excuse.
I simply didn’t care.
I let things slide for a very long while.
Way too long in fact. But, I’m slowly getting there. I started losing weight a few months ago and I finally plucked up the courage to ring my son-in-law, Noel, and I asked him to fix my teeth.
Even though I never expected to, I met someone at my slimming club.
I recognised him from work and we started chatting and