Yeah, I type back, but the only alternative was Noel and…
I stop typing, there’s a pause, a very long pause and then a smiley face comes back to me.
So Holly it is then. I type back.
There’s another pause and I don’t know what to type and maybe neither does he.
Go to bed. Then he retypes. Meant - am going to bed – night Lucy.
Night.
I don’t change it to nite, because I’m allowed to be me now.
He’s nice to me now.
I check, and the puppy’s sleeping and Charlotte is too and I head off to bed, but I’m still thinking of Luke.
Like, really thinking!
So, before I get into bed, I get something out of the wardrobe.
Okay, I know I said never again. I know I promised it would be wrapped in newspaper and at the bottom of the bin.
I know – I have no excuse!
CHAPTER SIXTY THREE
Gloria
Eleanor has bought me a huge bunch of daffodils.
I put them in a vase as we chat and then we walk through to the lounge with them.
‘Oh!’ She sees the massive, and I mean massive, vase of daffodils that Paul bought me. ‘His is bigger.’
Actually it is!
But there are details a daughter certainly doesn’t need to know! I say something about it being spring and that you can never have too many daffodils and we get back to what we were talking about.
A little problem.
‘I don't know what to say if she asks,’ I tell Eleanor.
Charlotte is going to be Skype me in a few minutes. That's why Eleanor has brought Daisy over; it's a nice way for them to keep in touch. Well, that was the reason she brought Daisy over; except it turns out that Laura and Daniel are on sleepovers tonight. Eleanor and Noel got to thinking that, if I could have Daisy, then they could go to a hotel for a night, to resume the shag fest that their marriage now is, except Paul and I were going to go out.
Anyway, that's not the issue at the moment. Alice doesn't know what happened between Lucy and Noel and she’s ringing Charlotte to ask her to be a bridesmaid. No doubt she assumes Eleanor won’t mind taking Charlotte for her fittings and picking her up. I'm more than happy to do that - that's not the problem. I'm just worried, l tell Eleanor, that Charlotte might assume that her mum can come to the church. ‘It's so awkward,’ I tell Eleanor.
‘It's not awkward for me,’ Eleanor replies. ‘After all, I haven’t shagged most of the bridal party's husbands.’ She gives a smirk. ‘It might be a bit awkward for Lucy!’
‘You don't mind if she goes?’ I hadn’t been asking for that. I had been asking what I should say to Charlotte but Eleanor is so much more open now, we’re closer than we ever have been.
Ever.
‘Would it be awkward for you Mum?’ She asks.
‘A bit,’ I admit, ‘but I'm getting used to awkward.’
‘Well, I’ll leave it up to you.’
‘Go on then,’ I say. ‘I’ll have Daisy.’ I call out to the kitchen. ‘Is that all right with you Paul?
‘No problem,’ he calls back. Paul's nice like that. He’s really laid back, he gets my plans can change at any given moment and, of course, he adores Daisy –everybody does.
‘I don’t think Lucy should come to the after party though,’ Eleanor kisses Daisy good night. ‘I think that might be pushing it.’
‘God, yes.’ I agree.
You wouldn’t want to mix alcohol and Lucy with that lot!
CHAPTER SIXTY FOUR
Lucy
‘I’m going to be a bridesmaid!’
She’s beyond excited – she must have deafened Alice from the squeal that she let out.
‘Mum!’
‘That’s brilliant!’ Even if will kill not to see it, it’s worth it for this.
She’s just happier every day. Oh, she has her bad days, we all do I guess, but she’s happy and funny and she’s really coming back to me now.
We talk for a bit, or rather she rabbits on and on and then I go to clean up my stuff in the garden.
You’re not going to believe this.
I love gardening!
It relaxes me.
I kneel down and pull out a couple of weeds, it’s the beginning of spring and things are starting to flower and little shoots are popping up.
I feel the soil beneath my fingers and I dig them in and I can almost feel a pulse – like the garden’s coming to life. I can feel all the