We Are Totally Normal - Rahul Kanakia Page 0,35

move. That’s the basics. I’m not saying do anything creepy, but you need to make moves.”

Now Dave’s voice creaked into life. “Thanks. That all seems okay, but, like, I don’t know if that’ll happen tonight.”

“All right . . . ,” Pothan said. “But there’s a second part. You make sure she enjoys it, you know”—then he launched into this description of how to touch her down there, how to be gentle, how to find the right spots . . .

“Where did you learn this stuff?”

“The internet, obviously.”

Dave said, “I, uhh, heard some girls prefer anal. Like, because it’s not technically—”

“I don’t know those girls,” Pothan said. “That’s a rumor, but seriously. I don’t know anything about anal. You should ask Hen.”

Again, Henry shrugged. “I dunno.”

“What?” Pothan said. “You serious?

“Pothan . . . ,” I warned.

“The truth is . . . that, uhh, at, uhh,” Hen stammered, “at the parties we go to, there aren’t really other guys who are into guys.”

Dave and I exchanged a look. Pothan clapped Henry on the shoulder, and he was like, “That is fucking sad. Look, dude, we’re gonna fix this.”

Pothan asked Henry all kinds of questions, and as the strategizing continued, Hen started sitting sideways, leaning against the door, and began making fun of Pothan’s outfit, which I knew meant he was feeling comfortable. I leaned against the window, not doing anything, just smiling to myself, as we came over the rise and saw the clear blue lake opening up beneath us.

11

SIX HOURS LATER, AVANI WAS puking upstairs while Jessie hovered over her; Hen was passed out on a nearby couch; and Ken, Pothan, and Carrie were on the back porch trying to build a homemade catapult out of some resistance bands and a pair of lacrosse sticks while Gabriela alternated between egging them on and trying to make them stop.

I sat in the living room with a dazed Mari and Dave. Half-drunk cans of beer were all over the kitchen table. At least two of those were mine. I’d opened each one absentmindedly, and both times Mari had given me a sharp look and said, “Hey, can you not get drunk right now?”

“Well,” I said. “This . . . was not what I was expecting.”

Mari had a tight-lipped smile. Dave lay back on the couch. He at least was sipping a beer.

“Really?” Dave said. “This is a surprise to you?”

“I don’t know.” I waved my hands. “It just . . .”

Things had been awkward from the beginning. We’d all stood around in the living room, staring at each other, trying to plan what to do. Avani suggested going down to the lake. At that moment Pothan opened a beer and challenged us to play king cup. Halfway through the game Carrie jacked up the music. The screaming and shouting began. Avani drank quickly, with a fixed look in her eyes, and finally staggered off with Jessie in tow. Hen at least seemed to be having fun. He kept punching Pothan and Ken and me in the sides, saying, “You guys . . . you guys . . .” And within two hours he and Pothan had developed a series of catchphrases that continued even now.

“Spur and ride!” Pothan whooped outside. “Spur and motherfucking ride!”

“The hay is in the barn!” Carrie shouted.

The nonsensical phrases seemed to have bubbled up from the formless noise that surrounded us while we drank.

My lips twitched. “Well, umm . . . ,” I said. “I don’t know if you guys want to sleep?”

“It’s early,” Mari said.

Dave’s eyes were half closed. I poked him in the gut. “Uhh, yeah, it’s early,” he said.

Avani stumbled downstairs. Her face was pale and withered, and her hair was in wet strands across her back. The dress she’d arrived in was gone, replaced by sweatpants and a white T-shirt. She opened one of the beers on the table and sniffed it, and a spasm ran across her stomach.

“Hey,” I said. “You okay?”

“This is a nightmare,” she said.

The venom in her voice stung Dave and Mari, sending them upright.

“Come on,” I said. “It’ll calm down soon—”

“I didn’t even want to do this.”

She went on, her voice rising, getting more frantic and emotional. Carrie looked in, raised an eyebrow, and dipped away. Avani got up, taking her just-opened can of beer to the sink. She poured it out, then went around, collected more cans, and carried each one to the sink.

“Umm, hey,” Mari said. “Avani, let’s talk.”

Jess came downstairs, and she and Mari and Avani huddled