the way he puts me at ease — which I know is what he does for a living — but I have to admit that it makes me let down my guard.
And that isn’t something I’ve done in years.
“What?” he asks, noticing a change. I feel it too. A softness comes over me.
I shake my head. Squeeze his hand tight. “Thank you,” I say. “For coming back.”
He nods, giving me an easy smile. “I plan on coming back a whole lot more.”
Chapter Three
Josh
Dinner goes amazing — we find a place with a salad bar and laugh as we add extra ranch dressing to our kale and cucumber salads. Moderation is key, we agree on that.
The conversation goes easy — I tell her about my parents, who are on vacation in Tahiti for a special anniversary, and about my younger brother, who is at Yale. She asks where I went to school.
“Oh, I went to Yale too.” Her eyes widen and I try to shake it off. “My dad went there, so I had an in.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Let me guess, so did your grandpa.”
I shrug. “My grandma, actually.”
I find out Jessa was a foster kid who graduated and put herself through a baking program at the community college, and after interning at a bakery for a few years, she took a leap and opened her shop. I get the feeling she is really anxious about it succeeding. And not to put my therapist hat on, but I have a feeling her being brisk with the customers this morning was a way for her to put her walls up.
I want them to crumble and fall because right now, as I see the more vulnerable side of her, I can’t help but think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She is funny and kind and talented — she’s the whole package, certainly more than a single muffin.
And while I could have spent the entire night with her, learning everything there is to know, by the time we finish our dinner, she’s yawning.
“You know I hate to apologize, but I’m genuinely sorry to cut this night short, Josh,” she tells me. “I’m exhausted and have a three-thirty wake-up time tomorrow.”
“That’s so early,” I say, paying the bill. “Do you always start your days like that?”
She nods. “Yep, it’s the life of a baker. I’m used to it — I’ve been on this schedule for a few years. But it can make dating clunky. And friendships are hard too. It’s like I work graveyard, only worse. I can’t exactly ask a guy to go to bed at seven every night.”
“I’d do that,” I tell her.
She laughs. “Sure you would. And then one of your buddies would ask you to go out for a drink and suddenly you’d be a train wreck for days.”
“You don’t believe me, do you?”
She laughs. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“When can I see you again?”
Jessa twists her lips. “Sunday? I’m closed on Monday so it’s my weekend.”
“It’s a date.”
She gives me her details and while I want to pull her in for a kiss, I see her hesitate. And I have a feeling this girl has been through hell with men. I’m not going to push anything with her. I know she is worth the wait.
When Matt and Grady text and tell me they are meeting at O’Malley’s for a beer, I go, deciding it’s gonna be my last night out with the guys.
Jessa needs a partner who will slide into bed with her at night, hold her tight. I want to be that man. Sure, we just met, and sure I have never felt so goddamn smitten before, but that doesn’t mean what I’m feeling isn’t real.
The guys give me a hard time. Everyone but Matt. Apparently some girl named Mirabella has him all worked up. For the first time in my life, I can relate.
After Matt’s shrugged off for the night, Grady asks if Jessa liked the aloe vera plant. “She loved it. It was the perfect thing.”
“You really like her, huh?”
“I do, but she has walls up — she’s been through stuff, you can see it in her eyes. The last thing I want is for her to push me away. I have a feeling we could be pretty fucking great.”
Grady takes a drink of his beer. “Good thing she has a guy like you, someone who knows all about feelings and shit.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “So what about you,