fighting, denying.
And could deny no more.
He loved her.
Loved Tarrys.
The thought terrified even as it liberated.
He loved her and would continue to love her with every breath he took until he breathed no more.
He kissed her, kept kissing her even as he pulled out of her and rolled onto his back, pulling her across him so he could kiss her some more.
"I love you."
He'd said the words out loud.
Words he'd never told any woman.
Words he'd never thought he could say.
He felt like a man reborn.
The irony nearly made him laugh.
Reborn.
As he stared down death.
Tarrys pulled away from his kisses and looked at him, propping her arms on his chest.
He expected to see happiness in her eyes.
He loved her! But her eyes were drenched with sadness.
He lifted a hand to cup her cheek.
"Tarrys..." She pressed her fingers to his lips.
"Charlie, I have to go."
He stared at her, not understanding.
"Go where?" "I have to leave.
I'm so sorry.
But I've seen things in my visions.
I have responsibilities to my people I didn't know I had.
My place is here.
I'm not going back with you."
He blinked and sat up as she scooted off him.
"You think I'm going to die.
You're leaving now so you don't have to watch."
He couldn't believe it.
Her lack of faith... She touched his cheek.
"You're not going to die.
If you wait for the gates to open, you'll succeed."
"How can you possibly know that?" Her expression was at once powerfully sure and infinitely sad.
"I know, Charlie.
You'll take Princess Ilaria back and save your world.
But I can't go with you.
I'm needed here."
She rose, slipping on her slave's gown with a single, graceful movement.
He stared at her, as stunned by her words that he was going to succeed as he was by the fact she was leaving anyway.
Leaving him.
After he'd told her he loved her.
As she stood before him, her eyes bright with unshed tears, he wanted to rise, but couldn't move for the weight crushing his chest.
"Wait until the gates open before you free her, Charlie."
"How in the hell am I supposed to know when the gates open?" "Look to the sky."
A single tear slid down her cheek.
"I love you, Charlie Rand."
Another tear followed, and another.
"Don't forget me."
She turned and ran, lithe as a deer, leaving him stunned and reeling, struggling for air.
An awful sense of deja vu washed over him.
Ten years old, his dad standing before him.
"I have to leave, son.
I can't be with you boys and your mother anymore.
I love you, Charlie.
But I can't stay."
Charlie had never seen him again.
He'd never even heard from him.
Dammit.
He leaped to his feet and slammed the heel of his hand against the nearest tree as fury sliced through him.
"Damn her to hell.
" Why had he told her he loved her? Why had he let himself love her? He wasn't meant for love.
He'd never been meant for love.
If she'd loved him, really loved him, why had she left? He pulled on his clothes with angry yanks.
He didn't need her.
Love never lasted anyway.
Within a couple of days, he'd forget about her.
Damn her for following him here in the first place.
If she'd just stayed back in D.
C.
like he told her to... He took a big breath and let it out slowly.
He'd be dead.
If she'd stayed in D.
C.
like he'd told her to, he'd never have discovered her strength or her courage.
He'd never have tasted the sweetness of her kiss or the shattering ecstasy of making love with the woman who'd been made for him.
His match.
His mate.
Pain clenched its fist around his heart.
He sank to the ground, leaning back against a tree.
How was he supposed to live without her? She was his life, his breath.
His heart.
He wasn't sure how long he'd sat there waiting for God knew what.
A half hour? Longer? Something glittered in his vision and he blinked, but it didn't go away.
He looked up...and stilled.
Stars.
The russet Esrian sky glittered with a million of them.
The gate was open.
Chills raced over his skin.
The worlds were one, and yet...not.
He couldn't wrap his mind around it, but he didn't have to.
Not now.
What he had to do now was free Princess Ilaria without getting himself killed, and convince her to show him to the nearest gate.
And do it within the hour or that gate was going to close and he'd be stuck here for another month.
Harrison and Jack would try to follow him in and almost certainly die.
But the thought of going through that gate alone, of leaving Tarrys behind, tore a fresh wound in his heart.
Focus.
Compartmentalize.
Because if he kept thinking about Tarrys, he'd never succeed.
Charlie rose