girl so thoroughly, I didn’t want anything to do with it.
He cupped the side of my face and turned me so I was once again looking into his pale blues. “That’s okay, baby. I’ll wait. For as long as you need me to. I’ll be right here beside you. Just don’t push me away. I don’t think I could survive it if you did.”
I didn’t know how to respond to any of that. It made me melt a little more that he was saying he would wait for me. But I didn’t think he really understood just how deep my fear went. It wasn’t just going to fade into nothingness overnight. Maybe not even over a decade. It took a lot to truly scare me, and right then, I was absolutely terrified of letting anyone—especially Jagger—have even a little control over my heart.
Even though I loved him, I couldn’t let him or anyone else have access to something so fucking vulnerable.
Instinct told me to push him as far away as humanly possible. Put a continent between us and try to forget about the sexy rocker who only wanted me. Yet I couldn’t tell him no. Not when I ached to have him close, even as my fear of being hurt made me quake. It was the kind of contradiction people felt that led them headfirst into a mental breakdown.
When I didn’t say anything, Jagger pressed his lips to the center of my forehead and then carefully placed me in the passenger seat. Leaning over me, he pulled my seat belt across my body and fastened it in place before putting his own back on. “Let’s go check on Violet.”
All I could do was nod, and he pulled into traffic. We were both quiet on the drive to my house. My parents weren’t home when we went inside so I could change, but since both their vehicles were in the driveway, I figured they had walked over to the Stevensons’.
I left Jagger in the kitchen with something to drink while I changed out of my school uniform into a pair of jean shorts and a white tank top. Pulling my hair up into a ponytail, I walked downstairs to find Jagger standing exactly where I’d left him. He hadn’t moved, not even to open his bottle of diet soda that I’d given him minutes before.
“I’m ready,” I said as I stopped a few feet from him.
He lifted his head from staring sightlessly at his phone. As his gaze traveled up my body, I felt myself responding, and I quickly turned away before he could see the way my nipples had tightened and were pointing at him through my bra and shirt.
We walked to Violet’s house, and I let us in through the kitchen door. I came and went as I pleased at Vi’s house just as she did at mine. This was my home away from home. Her parents were my second set, and we were one big family that was always in one another’s business. I loved it. It made me feel safe and loved. Between my parents and the Stevensons, I didn’t fear anything.
Except having my heart broken like Violet’s was.
Unfortunately, no one could cure me of that fear, even though I wished they could.
Mom and Aunt Harper were making dinner together when we entered. My mom saw who was with me and gave me a small smile before turning back to the stove where she was sautéing something while Aunt Harper chopped veggies for the salad.
“Hey, you two,” Mom greeted. “Hope you’re hungry. We made enough for a small army. Or in this case, enough for Mason plus the rest of us.”
“I’m not really hungry,” I said with a grimace.
“I’m starving,” Jagger told her. “Is it okay if I stay for dinner?”
“Of course it’s okay,” Aunt Harper told him as she used her forearm in an attempt to push a few strands of hair back from her face. “It should be ready in twenty minutes or so. Go and visit with Violet while we finish up.”
Violet was in the living room with our dads when we walked in. Since she’d talked to her parents about her dark thoughts Sunday morning, no one had left her alone except to sleep. She confessed to me that it was more than a little overwhelming not to have any time to herself now, but it kept her head busy with things other than the thought of doing something she knew she couldn’t