up. I’m sorry, Shaw. I know I messed up, and I’m willing to do anything to fix it and prove to you I’m in this for the long haul.”
I stood there, my heart beating so hard against my ribs it was hard to breathe. I wanted to believe him, wanted him to mean what he said. I wanted so many things. But then Violet’s lost eyes came back to haunt me, and my own fear began to choke me.
I loved Jagger, and he’d already hurt me once. I didn’t know if I could handle it if he did it again. I wasn’t like Violet. I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut and not throw a total fit. I would want to cause bodily and emotional harm so bad, Jagger would need professional help.
“Dimples…” His voice turned imploring when I dropped my eyes to the counter and let a single tear fall. “I know you want us to be the next Vi and Luca, and I can give you that. I swear. I’ll make you so damn happy that—”
“I don’t want anything that even resembles their relationship,” I gritted out. “I don’t need that kind of love and devotion. Maybe I thought it was what I wanted, but knowing what I know now, that it was all just a mirage of a boy playing at forever, I’d rather not travel down that road.”
His brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”
“It means my heart is no longer on the table for you or anyone else to stomp all over,” I told him honestly. “It belongs to me and no one else. That way, I know it’s safe.”
“We both know it’s already mine,” he growled and stepped toward me. “I fucked up, but it won’t happen again. I swear I’ll show you that you come first with me.”
“That might have been nice if you’d done it before the party, but now, I’m not interested.” When he came closer, I lifted both hands, trying to keep him at bay. “Stop, Jags.”
He grasped my wrists and pressed my hands flat against his hard chest. I felt how hard his heart was pounding under my palm. I didn’t know if it was from my touch or something else, but I could feel how out of control he was even though he was pretending to be calm.
“You’re just mad,” he tried to soothe, but his voice was full of determination. “I’ll fix this. I’ll show you. You’ll forgive me, and we can start our forever.”
“I won’t. I’m over this.” It was another huge lie, but I refused to ever go through what was happening to Violet. This was for the best. For everyone. I didn’t want to hurt any more than I already was, and I sure as hell didn’t want to lose any more than I already had.
Releasing one of my hands, he cupped the side of my face, using his thumb under my chin to tilt my head back so I was forced to meet his gaze. “Tell me you don’t love me,” he commanded. “Tell me, and I’ll walk away right now.”
“I don’t love you.”
I saw the flash of pain in his blue eyes, but he grinned because my voice had cracked, telling us both exactly how big of a liar I really was. “Say it again.”
“I…don’t…” Tears spilled from my eyes without my permission. I gulped back the sob suddenly wanting to be free. “I don’t want to love you.”
“But you do,” he murmured, tenderly wiping away my tears. “And I love you too, Dimples.”
“For now.” I leaned into his touch for a moment, giving myself just a few more seconds of being close to him before I jerked away.
“For eternity,” he vowed and caught my hips in both his hands again. He locked me in place as he pressed his front to my back. Goose bumps popped up along my entire body as he kissed my exposed neck. “You’re it for me, Shaw. I only want you. I only love you. And even if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that to you, I don’t care. I’ll do what I have to just to show you we belong together.”
How many times had I heard Luca tell Violet those words, almost verbatim, with that same reverence in his voice? That he only wanted her. That he only loved her. That he was hers and hers alone.
And then with one misunderstanding, he’d gone and put his dick in someone