to me. For one thing, since Hegbert didn’t allow her to wear makeup—with the single exception being the Christmas play—I was sure she couldn’t wear perfume. I told my mom as much, and that was when she’d suggested taking her out to dinner.
“I don’t have any money left,” I said to her dejectedly. Though my family was wealthy and gave me an allowance, they never gave me more if I ran through it too quickly. “It builds responsibility,” my father said, explaining it once.
“What happened to your money in the bank?”
I sighed, and my mom sat in silence while I explained what I had done. When I finished, a look of quiet satisfaction crossed her face, as if she, too, knew I was finally growing up.
“Let me worry about that,” she said softly. “You just find out if she’d like to go and if Reverend Sullivan will allow it. If she can, we’ll find a way to make it happen. I promise.”
The following day I went to the church. I knew that Hegbert would be in his office. I hadn’t asked Jamie yet because I figured she would need his permission, and for some reason I wanted to be the one who asked. I guess it had to do with the fact that Hegbert hadn’t exactly been welcoming me with open arms when I visited. Whenever he’d see me coming up the walkway—like Jamie, he had a sixth sense about it—he’d peek out the curtains, then quickly pull his head back behind them, thinking that I hadn’t seen him. When I knocked, it would take a long time for him to answer the door, as if he had to come from the kitchen. He’d look at me for a long moment, then sigh deeply and shake his head before finally saying hello.
His door was partially open, and I saw him sitting behind his desk, spectacles propped on his nose. He was looking over some papers— they looked almost financial—and I figured he was trying to figure out the church budget for the following year. Even ministers had bills to pay.
I knocked at the door, and he looked up with interest, as if he expected another member of the congregation, then furrowed his brow when he saw that it was me.
“Hello, Reverend Sullivan,” I said politely. “Do you have a moment?” He looked even more tired than usual, and I assumed he wasn’t feeling well.
“Hello, Landon,” he said wearily.
I’d dressed sharply for the occasion, by the way, with a jacket and tie. “May I come in?” He nodded slightly, and I entered the office. He motioned for me to sit in the chair across from his desk.
“What can I do for you?” he asked.
I adjusted myself nervously in the chair. “Well, sir, I wanted to ask you something.”
He stared at me, studying me before he finally spoke. “Does it have to do with Jamie?” he asked.
I took a deep breath.
“Yes, sir. I wanted to ask if it would be all right with you if I took her to dinner on New Year’s Eve.”
He sighed. “Is that all?” he said.
“Yes, sir,” I said. “I’ll bring her home any time you’d need me to.”
He took off his spectacles and wiped them with his handkerchief before putting them back on. I could tell he was taking a moment to think about it.
“Will your parents be joining you?” he asked.
“No, sir.”
“Then I don’t think that will be possible. But thank you for asking my permission first.” He looked down at the papers, making it clear it was time for me to leave. I stood from my chair and started toward the door. As I was about to go, I faced him again.
“Reverend Sullivan?”
He looked up, surprised I was still there.
“I’m sorry for those things I used to do when I was younger, and I’m sorry that I didn’t always treat Jamie the way she should have been treated. But from now on, things will change. I promise you that.”
He seemed to look right through me. It wasn’t enough.
“I love her,” I said finally, and when I said it, his attention focused on me again.
“I know you do,” he answered sadly, “but I don’t want to see her hurt.” Even though I must have been imagining it, I thought I saw his eyes begin to water.
“I wouldn’t do that to her,” I said.
He turned from me and looked out the window, watching as the winter sun tried to force its way through the clouds. It was