the middle-aged man. And a new one. Shay, the rich girl cheerleader, in handcuffs, hooked to a bed. Smiling.
Janie thinks she looks dreadful.
Naked.
As Cabel climbs in bed with her.
And Janie can’t pull herself away.
She feels herself become ill, but she cannot move.
She can’t pound on the window to wake him.
She’s frozen. Paralyzed.
And she thought school was torture.
It’s absolutely the worst dream she’s ever been stuck in. By far. She passes out. Unconscious. Drained. Right before the scene changes. And ends.
6:31 a.m.
She opens her eyes.
On her belly, facedown, in the stones and branches.
She can hardly move.
But she must.
The sun is coming up.
7:11 a.m.
Janie limps home. Ignores the barking dogs.
7:34 a.m.
Janie crawls in the door, closes it, and falls on the carpet next to Carrie, who is still lying on the couch. She sleeps.
8:03 a.m.
Oh, God. She’s in the forest. Again, again, again. So tired.
When they see the boy, bobbing in the water, Stu appears next to Carrie.
The grin.
The struggling.
The plea. Help him.
And Janie can’t help him.
She can never help him.
Stu reaches over the water, but he cannot help either. Stu makes love to Carrie as she is crying for the boy, Carson.
The boy is bloody, lost, gone with the shark.
As always.
Janie cries. For Carson, for Carrie. But mostly for herself. She feels like she’s about a hundred years old.
9:16 a.m.
Carrie nudges Janie.
“I gotta go,” she says.
Janie grunts. Her body aches.
Carrie closes the door softly, and Janie sleeps.
The carpet scratches her face.
11:03 a.m.
There is a soft knock, and a lets-himself-in noise of the door. Janie thinks she’s dreaming.
He checks to make sure she is alive, on the floor. Then he sits on the couch and waits.
Janie’s mother walks by.
And walks by again, the other way, carrying a tinfoil-covered tray and a glass bottle.
12:20 p.m.
She rolls.
Groans.
Curls up in a ball on her side, clutching her belly.
“Oh, God,” she moans, eyes closed. Her head aches. Her muscles scream every time she moves. She is weak and empty. Light-headed. Exhausted.
And he is there, picking her up. Taking her to her bed. Covering her with blankets.
He closes the door.
Sits on the floor, next to her.
12:54 p.m.
He goes to the kitchen. Makes her a cold chicken sandwich. Pours milk. Pours orange juice. Puts it on a plate. Takes it to her room.
Waits.
1:02 p.m.
Until he gets scared because she’s sleeping so much. And he wakes her up.
Janie groans and slowly sits up.
She drinks the juice and milk.
Eats the sandwich.
Doesn’t look at Cabel.
Or speak to him.
1:27 p.m.
“Why do you keep coming here,” she says dully. Her voice is rough.
He measures his words. “Because I care about you.”
She chuckles morosely. “Right.”
He looks at her helplessly. “Janie, I’m—”
She gives him a sharp look. “You’re what? Dealing drugs? Fucking Shay Wilder? Tell me something I don’t know.”
He puts his head in his hands and groans. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
She snorts. “You’re denying it?”
“I am not fucking Shay Wilder.” He shudders.
“Oh, really. Only in your dreams, then.” She turns to the wall.
He stares at the back of her head.
For a painful amount of time.
“You didn’t,” he finally says.
She doesn’t respond.
He stands up. “Jesus, Janie.” He spits the words.
Stands there, accusing.
“Maybe you should leave now,” Janie says.
He moves to the door, opens it, and turns back to look at her. “Dreams are not memories, Janie. They’re hopes and fears. Indications of other life stresses. I thought you of all people would know the difference.” He walks out.
November 21, 2005
Janie and Cabel don’t speak.
Janie goes about school and her job mechanically, feeling emptier than she’s ever felt before in all her life. The one person who knows about the dreams, the one person she really started to care about, feels like her worst enemy. Janie spends a lot of time thinking about being an old maid forever, like Miss Stubin. Preparing herself for a very lonely life.
Working at the nursing home.
Commuting to college.
Living with her mother.
Forever.
At school, the number of sleeping students increases with the waning of daylight hours and the onset of colder weather.
As Thanksgiving approaches, in one especially rough study hall that follows too light a lunch, a science geek girl named Stacey O’Grady takes a rare nap. She’s driving an out-of-control car with a rapist in the backseat for almost the entire class period. Fifteen minutes into it, Janie is already fully paralyzed.
Luckily, Carrie is not there to notice when Janie falls off her chair and shakes on the carpet, back in the corner of the library.
Luckily, Cabel notices.
He picks her up, sets her back on the chair.
Rubs her fingers a