they die, though, and then come back to life. Once a starfish dies, it’s gone for good.”
His sapphire eyes lifted to meet hers. Eyes, she realized, that were just like the eyes she’d seen on that computer screen. “To starfish heaven?”
A laugh escaped her lips. “Yeah, baby. To starfish heaven.”
He went back to his toys. “But you died and came back.”
Kate drew in a breath. How did he know that? Had Jake told him? “That was different. Reed, look at me.” His gaze lifted. So innocent and adorable. Her only link to her past life. The only thing she really had left. “Mommy’s heart stopped because of an…accident. The doctors started it again. It’s different from someone dying. When you die, you don’t come back.”
“Not ever?” Tears swam in his eyes.
An ache filled Kate’s chest. She knew he was thinking of Jake. A four-year-old shouldn’t be asking questions about death and dying. He shouldn’t have to go through losing a parent. But here he was, growing up much too fast, having to deal with things no preschooler should have to face.
She rubbed a hand across her chest. Surprisingly, the pain wasn’t for Jake like she expected. This time, it was for a family she didn’t know. For a man and his daughter who’d lost someone they loved deeper than she’d expected. All her research didn’t change that fact. She’d seen the heartache on their faces. Was Julia asking these questions? Wondering why her mother was back from the dead and what it all meant in the long run?
Shouldn’t Kate be the one answering them for her, trying to set some of this right?
“Mama?”
Reed’s voice drew her attention. Smiling, she ran a hand over his blond hair. If the tests came back positive, she’d have to tell Ryan about him. Dread coursed through her at the thought. What would he say when he found out he’d missed out on four years of his son’s life? That Reed thought of another man as his father? It would only make things worse.
She didn’t have answers to the questions swirling in her mind. And at the moment, she didn’t want to think of them. She just wanted to focus on her sweet son’s face and remember why she was here, why she was digging for information that she may never find.
“Yes, baby?”
“I love you.”
Her face softened, and she drew him into her arms and onto her lap. “I love you, sweetheart. More than you will ever know.”
Chapter Seven
“See that?” Mitch pointed across the ravine to a fan-shaped deposit of sediments marking a dried riverbed. “It’s an alluvial fan.”
“What causes that?” Julia asked with sincere interest.
Ryan fought the urge to roll his eyes. He’d taken the day off, unable to concentrate on much of anything besides the turmoil inside him, and headed up to the mountains at Mitch’s insistence. How the hell he’d let Mitch talk him into this, he didn’t know.
“Generally, a stream drags the sediments with it, depositing them at the bottom,” Mitch explained. “Sometimes a landslide can do it.”
“Give it a rest, Mathews.” Ryan used the back of his forearm to wipe the sweat from his brow.
“The kid likes it,” Mitch said, grinning at Julia.
“Does she?”
Julia smiled his way. “The kid does.”
“I don’t know what the hell’s in the Mathews’s gene pool, but whatever it is got passed down to her.” Ryan slapped a mosquito that landed on his arm. “Son of a bitch, I’m getting eaten alive out here.”
Mitch elbowed Julia. “He’s such a city slicker.”
They both laughed.
“Enough playing in the dirt today,” Ryan announced. “I’m filthy and tired. Let’s head back.”
“Dad, you’re such a party pooper.” Julia caught up with him and grabbed his hand. He slung an arm over her shoulder as they headed down the path. Behind them, Mitch continued to shout out geologic markers they passed.
“See what you started?” Ryan mumbled.
Julia giggled. “Imagine what he’s like on a date.”
“That’s why he doesn’t date much.”
“What the hell are you two talking about up there?” Mitch hollered.
“Nothing,” Ryan shot back.
“Just the native dating rituals.” Julia giggled again.
“Or lack thereof,” Ryan added under his breath.
“You two are a bunch of comedians,” Mitch said. “Just so happens I’ve got a hot date tonight.” He winked at Julia as they climbed into his dusty Land Rover. “It’s more than I can say for your dear old pop here.”
Ryan eyed him across the console. “Who the hell would go out with you?”
“Okay, it’s not so much a date as a meeting. But if