could utter another sound or gather her strength to run, he jerked her back against his chest and covered her mouth with his hand. “Don’t bloody move.”
Gideon was aware Haslemere was shouting something at him, but he heard nothing, was aware of nothing but the soft press of her lips against his palm, the quivering of her slight body, the brush of her hair against the side of his neck.
Full, trembling lips, soft, silky hair…
Cecilia. Not a ghost, not the White Lady, but Cecilia.
He’d only held her once before, had never inhaled her scent, but somehow, he knew the feel of her in his arms. “It’s all right. I’m sorry. I won’t hurt you, Cecilia,” he murmured, as she trembled against him. He placed a gentle hand on her jaw to still her, and crooned into her ear until his whispered words penetrated her shock, her heaving breaths calmed, and her body went limp against his.
Let her go, let her go before you can’t.
He needed to set her away from him, now, before he could no longer think, but even as the warning wound through his head, he was burying his face in her hair, his eyes closing as his lips parted over the soft skin of her neck.
A sound, the crunch of footsteps over frozen ground recalled him back to himself. He opened his eyes, steeling himself to face Haslemere’s knowing gaze, but his friend had melted into the darkness.
Gideon allowed himself to breathe her in, to hold her against him for another instant before he took her shoulders in his hands and turned her in his arms. “What are you doing out here? Is it Isabella?”
“No, Isabella’s fine.” She gazed up at him with huge dark eyes. “I didn’t leave her alone. I-I fetched Amy to watch her.”
“Then why are you out here, wandering in the dark?” Gideon’s fingers tightened on her shoulders as fear gripped him, squeezing his throat. What if the alleged “ghost” had come across Cecilia out here? “Did it even occur to you it isn’t safe to be out here alone?”
“I’m not alone. I knew you and Lord Haslemere were out here—”
“But we didn’t know you were!” Relief gave way to a dread that robbed him of his breath. “Damn it, Cecilia. When I saw someone moving in the garden, I thought you were…” Gideon dragged a frantic hand through his hair. “I might have hurt you.”
“No, you wouldn’t. You’d never intentionally hurt—”
“Don’t you understand? I’d have done it thinking you were someone else.” Gideon covered his eyes with his hand. “I told you to stay in your bedchamber, but you followed us out here onto the grounds even after I’d forbidden it—”
“You never forbade me to—”
“Stop it, Cecilia! You know damn well I don’t want you out here. Why do you think I put Duncan on your door? To keep you and Isabella safe! I shouldn’t have to tell you not to sneak about the grounds at night, alone, in the dark. Haven’t you any sense at all?”
Cecilia’s fingers curled into his coat. “I wasn’t—”
“But you’re not accustomed to following orders, are you? You’re no servant.” Gideon jerked her into his arms and tugged her against his chest, the last vestiges of his control dissolving like mist in the frigid night air. He was no longer betrothed, and she was in his arms. warm and soft and tempting…
Her scent enveloped him as his lips skimmed her temple, and he couldn’t stop himself from burying his face in her hair again. “I knew it the first moment I saw you. I should have sent you away then, but I couldn’t…couldn’t bear to…”
“What?” She gazed up at him, searching his face. “What couldn’t you bear?”
“To let you go.” He’d told himself over and over he was betrothed, that it was wrong of him to want Cecilia. That he could never have her. He’d tried to stay away from her, not even to look at her, but with every day that passed, he only wanted her more. “Why did you come to Darlington Castle? What do you want from me?”
She braced her hands on his chest, her eyes dark and wild as she gazed up at him. “I just want the truth, Gideon. I want you to tell me the truth.”
His eyes dropped closed at the sound of his name on her lips, and for that one blissful moment, when her body was pressed against his, he wanted to tell her everything.
Everything he knew, everything he