Violence (Antihero Inferno #3) - Lily White Page 0,59
knife already stabbed in my heart is now twisting to shred the muscle. And it also means Mason’s anger with me had nothing to do with losing the bet.
“You’re right. It doesn’t matter,” I finally say, playing it off that I don’t care. “That was years ago, and I’m only having fun now. I’m not worried about it.”
Ivy and Ava both stare at me with concern in their expressions, but Ivy forces the subject aside when she says, “Let’s go try on clothes instead of talking about old shit that means nothing. I’m sure Emily is smart enough to use those boys for sex only and not worry about anything serious, right?”
Forcing a grin, I nod my head.
“Yep. Fun only.”
“Although I think you should choose just one,” she adds.
It’s a subject she doesn’t drop for the next few hours. And every time she brings it up, I toss Gabe in her face as a counter argument.
I want to tell Ivy the truth that I have no intention of sleeping with them again, and I want to tell her I’m being forced to be their friend. I also want to tell her about the other things I’m being forced to do, but I can’t mention any of it.
Instead, I play it off that I am sleeping with them, that it’s no big deal, and I’m not stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I’m lying to my friends all because I want to save them the headache of worrying about what I’m going through.
Every time Ivy brings up the twins, I give her a bullshit answer and dodge the topic by bringing up Gabriel. To say I’m nervous for her is an understatement.
It’s like a damn tennis match between us as we circle each other with warnings and accusations.
Poor Ava is stuck listening to us not-so-playfully bicker the entire time we’re shopping, at least until we make the mistake of bringing up Mason and the engagement.
She wanders back from trying on a green dress I’d handed her, doing a shit job of hiding how upset she is about the engagement.
“Are either of you hungry? I want to get out of here.”
My stomach is currently tied in knots over another obligation I have today. I couldn’t eat if I tried.
Checking my phone, I groan at the time.
“Not me. I have somewhere I need to be.”
Ava and Ivy both smirk before glancing at each other and back to me. It’s Ava who voices what they both are thinking.
“Tell Damon and Ezra I said hi.”
I wish it were as simple as that. Nothing with the twins is currently simple.
“That’s not where I’m going. You two have a good time, though.”
They stare at me as I walk away, and it takes effort not to look back at them and beg them to keep me from leaving.
Every step through the mall to the parking lot is weighted with nervousness and fear.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, can’t believe I’ll be lying to everybody around me just because I want everything to be okay.
It has to be okay, right?
Despite everything, this entire situation has to turn out the way I want it in the end, or else my life really will be worth nothing more than a repetitive routine, day after day, trapped in a loveless marriage.
I can’t stop thinking about Damon and Ezra as I make my way to my car. I can’t stop seeing their cuts and bruises. Can’t stop feeling the heat of Ezra’s skin from when I’d run my lips over those marks, willing them to heal faster.
But beneath all of that is a vein of rage for what put those bruises there in the first place. It’s like flash fire tearing through me, the flames reaching high to lick at my thoughts.
After the engagement party, and after seeing the way they both reacted to the reminder of their father, I’ve slipped one piece into the puzzle of what was done to them.
Seeing red as I pull into a gated neighborhood that’s right next to mine, I grimace.
The houses are just as large and ostentatious as the ones in my subdivision, a show of wealth that makes the owners feel that much more important and powerful.
I hate being in this place, hate pulling into this driveway, hate walking up to this particular door. But I do it anyway, hating the reason why.
Exhaling loudly, I lift my arm and ring the doorbell before looking up into the security camera.