just can’t, babe.” I felt too sick. It wasn’t a physical side effect like a stomach flu, it was something much worse.
It was a symptom of my broken heart.
It was two days since I’d woken up in Nicco and Arianne’s guest room, cold and alone.
Enzo had left.
He’d left me.
And although he climbed into bed with me every night after he thought I’d fallen to sleep, I knew he was trying to find the words I didn’t know he’d ever manage to say.
We were done.
Tears pooled into the corners of my eyes as I croaked, “How is he?”
“He’s… okay.”
“You’re a terrible liar.” A weak smile played on my lips.
“He comes back every night. He just needs time.”
Yeah, and I needed him.
I needed him so damn much.
Something inside felt broken, inexplicably altered. Arianne had tried to get me to talk about it, but I wasn’t ready.
So I spent my days in bed, watching mindless TV, waiting for Enzo to slide in behind me and draw me into his arms. Because despite the fact he was slowly shredding my heart apart, being close to him was the only time that peace found me.
I could still vividly remember Vinnie rutting into me, his fingers digging into my hips and his dirty words lashing my insides.
“I hate this,” I cried. “I fucking hate this.”
I wasn’t weak.
I was Nora goddamn Abato. I didn’t want to let some psychopath like Vinnie break my spirit. But I got it now. I understood what it was like to have your dignity torn to shreds, to have your body used, and your soul stained.
Because that’s what it was, a stain on my soul I wasn’t sure I would ever forget.
“Nora, you know I—”
“Don’t. Please, babe, just don’t.” I wasn’t there yet. I wasn’t ready to hear her words of encouragement and reassurance, even though she knew what I was going through.
“Okay. But I just want you to know, whenever you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here.” She gently squeezed my hand.
“Thanks. I’d feel better if he was here, and not out there doing whatever he’s doing,” I confessed.
“Nora, you know how he gets. Enzo had a full plate with the stuff with his father but throw in this revelation about Vinnie and you getting hurt…” She let out a small sigh. “It’s going to take time.”
“I just wish he’d talk to me.”
I’d been so sure he would walk away the second he found me, but he hadn’t. Sure, he wasn’t around during daylight, but he came back to me every night. I knew the fact he came in darkness and left before sunlight wasn’t exactly conventional, but nothing about us ever had been.
I pulled the cushion closer, taking comfort in its soft fluffy casing. Arianne leaned over and brushed the stray hairs from my face. “I hate to see you like this. Why don’t you come and watch some TV in the living room? It’s just the two of us. Nicco is… out.”
Code word for Nicco was trying to talk Enzo off a ledge somewhere.
“Maybe later.” I closed my eyes and tried to shut it all out. The pain I felt every time I thought of that day, the heartache I felt thinking of Enzo, the utter despair I felt about the future.
“This isn’t you, Nora.” Concern coated Arianne’s words. “I know you’re hurting, and I know you need time, but don’t let this break you. You’re so strong.”
“I think I’m going to sleep now,” I whispered, refusing to look at her.
“Okay, you know where I am if you need me.”
But it wasn’t Arianne I needed.
It was Enzo.
And he’d left me.
Cool hands slipped over my hips and dragged my body backward. My eyes fluttered open as Enzo got comfortable behind me. The digital clock on the nightstand read a little after one. His lips hovered against the nape of my neck, whispering Italian words I couldn’t quite distinguish, save for one phrase.
Perdonami.
Forgive me.
I don’t know how I knew, but I knew this was the last time he would climb into bed with me. Deep down in my soul, I knew this was goodbye.
Tears stung my eyes as my body began to tremble.
“Nora?” It was a whispered slur, a faint trace of liquor on his breath.
Of course he’d been out drinking. Because that’s what guys like Enzo did. They drank and fought and fucked their problems away.
Damn you, Enzo.
The silence was deafening, the distance between us cavernous.
His breathing slowed and I knew he was falling to sleep. But I couldn’t