would naturally change the subject, but she wasn’t so lucky. Her mother had seized onto this topic and wouldn’t let it go until she had Teddy’s entire life planned out, including what type of burial she’d like.
As both Sophia and her mother stared at her, Teddy realized she’d spaced out while they were talking. Sometimes it was easy for her to do that—let them figure out what was happening and then go along with it.
“What?” she asked innocently, taking another bite. “Great salad, by the way.”
“Thank you,” her mother said. “The beets are from the farmers market, and you know you can’t work at the toy store forever.”
The food in Teddy’s mouth suddenly tasted less like farmers market beets and more like cardboard. She heard Richard’s voice in her head. You’ve always had a smaller life.
“What’s wrong with Colossal Toys?” Teddy asked, even though she knew what her mom would say.
She made a noise that was half cough, half secondhand embarrassment. “You can barely live on that money. It’s important to be able to take care of yourself. Trust me.”
She didn’t have to mention the second job she’d taken after Teddy’s dad left or the fact that she probably hadn’t slept a full night since then. “I take care of myself,” Teddy said.
“Yeah, but you’re staying with your friends right now,” Sophia said. “Trust me. A place of your own. It matters.”
“I pooped!” Liam said, walking back into the room, Craig trailing behind him. “And Dad wiped my butt.”
“Did you wash your hands?” Sophia asked.
“Yep,” Craig said.
“Not you,” Sophia said slowly. “Liam.”
“I washed my hands!” Liam yelled.
“You know I’m only saying this because I care,” her mom said, patting Teddy’s hand. “I want the best possible life for you, and that means being able to support yourself. Maybe you could be a lawyer, like Sophia!”
Teddy wrinkled her nose.
Sophia shook her head. “Don’t go to law school. Don’t do it.”
“I have to potty again!” Liam yelled.
“You just went!” Sophia said.
“Don’t you want what Sophia has?” Teddy’s mother asked. “A house of her own, enough money to send Liam and Emma to fancy music lessons? I wish I could’ve sent you two to music lessons. Maybe you would’ve become talented musicians.”
“But that time I pooped. Now I have to pee again!” Liam said, sliding off his chair.
“I knew he shouldn’t have had so much juice,” Sophia muttered.
“Mom, I was very bad at the recorder in music class,” Teddy reminded her. “That thing sounded like a goose honking when I played it. I don’t think a lack of formal music education is why I don’t have a career as a musician.”
“All recorders sound like geese honking, and we’re not going to be able to come up with a plan for your future at this moment,” her mother said, gesturing vaguely at the family to encompass all the bathroom talk. “But check your email later. I’ll figure it out.”
Teddy took another bite of food and stifled a sigh. Her mother would figure it out; she always did. But this time, Teddy knew she needed to figure it out herself.
10
After dinner ended and they said their goodbyes, Teddy got into her car feeling heavy, and not because she was full of meat loaf (between the poop and the advice, she’d barely been able to eat). She felt bogged down under the weight of her mother’s expectations and Sophia’s opinions.
She wished she could talk about it with Sophia—really talk about it—but it wasn’t like she could say she was scared and crawl into her sister’s twin bed again. People used the phrase “grew apart” so casually, as if it was a natural thing that happened. And maybe it was for some people, but for Teddy, it felt more like a dramatic, earth-shattering crack, yet another way her family had broken.
Teddy loved her family. Really. But sometimes hanging out with her mom was like mainlining fifteen different advice columns at once, and all of the questions were about your life, only you didn’t remember ever actually asking for advice.
She didn’t want to feel like a teenager again, but she also didn’t know what the hell she was supposed to do.
Should she go back to school? Get another job? Move out of Eleanor and Kirsten’s place? But she had no idea what she’d go to school for, and she liked her job. She liked the warmth of the shop, being around Josie, her friendships with the regular customers. And although she knew it couldn’t last forever, she loved