always be afraid he'd find out what I was and hate me."
"It is a problem every vampire shares,"Mr. Crepsley said.
"But every vampire isn't a child!"I shouted. "What age were you when you were changed? Were you a man?"He nodded. "Friends aren't that important to adults. My dad told me that grown-ups get used to not having a lot of friends. They have work and hobbies and other stuff to keep them busy. But my friends were the most important thing in my life, besides my family. Well, you took my family away when you pumped your stinking blood into me. Now you've ruined the chances of my ever having a real friend again.
"Thanks a lot,"I said angrily. "Thanks for making a monster out of me and wrecking my life."
I was close to tears, but didn't want to cry, not in front of him. So I stabbed the last piece of meat on my plate with my fork and rammed it into my mouth, then I chewed on it fiercely.
Mr. Crepsley was quiet after my outburst. I couldn't tell if he was angry or sorry. For a while I thought I'd said too much. What if he turned around and said, "If that's the way you feel, I will leave you"? What would I do then?
I was thinking of apologizing when he spoke in a soft voice and surprised me.
"I am sorry,"he said. "I should not have blooded you. It was a poor call. You were too young. It has been so long since I was a boy, I had forgotten what it was like. I never thought of your friends and how much you would miss them. It was wrong of me to blood you. Terribly wrong. I..."
He trailed off into silence. He looked so miserable, I almost felt sorry for him. Then I remembered what he'd done to me and I hated him again. Then I saw wet drops at the corners of his eyes that might have been tears, and I felt sorry for him again.
I was really confused.
"Well, there's no use crying about it,"I finally said. "We can't go back. What's done is done, right?"
"Yes."He sighed. "If I could, I would take back my terrible gift. But that is not possible. Vampirism is forever. Once somebody has been changed, there is no changing back.
"Still,"he said, mulling it over, "it is not as bad as you think. Perhaps..."His eyes narrowed thoughtfully.
"Perhaps what?"I asked.
"We can find friends for you,"he said. "You do not have to be stuck with me all the time."
"I don't understand."I frowned. "Didn't we just agree it wasn't safe for me to be around humans?"
"I am not talking about humans,"he said, starting to smile. "I am talking about people with special powers. People like us. People you can tell your secrets to..."
He leaned across and took my hands in his.
"Darren,"he said, "what do you think about going back and becoming a member of the Cirque Du Freak?"
CHAPTER SEVEN
The more we discussed the idea, the more I liked it. Mr. Crepsley said the Cirque performers would know what I was and would accept me as one of their own. The lineup of the show changed a lot and there was almost always someone who would be around my own age. I could hang out with them.
"What if I don't like it there?"I asked.
"Then we leave,"he said. "I enjoyed traveling with the Cirque, but I am not crazy about it. If you like it, we stay. If you do not, we hit the road again."
"They won't mind me tagging along?"I asked.
"You will have to pull your weight,"he replied. "Mr. Tall insists on everybody doing something. You will have to help set up chairs and lights, sell souvenirs, clean up afterward, or do the cooking. You will be kept busy, but they will not overwork you. We will have plenty of time for our lessons."
We decided to give it a shot. At least it would mean a real bed every night. My back was stiff from sleeping on floors.
Mr. Crepsley had to find out where the show was before we could join. I asked him how he was going to do that. He told me he was able to home in on Mr. Tall's thoughts.
"You mean he's telepathic?"I asked, remembering what Steve had called people who could talk to each other using only their brains.
"Sort of,"Mr. Crepsley said. "We cannot speak to each other with our thoughts but I can pick up his... aura, you could call it. Once