lights, brake lights, backing lights, hazard lights and all turn signals were operational, washed the windows and filled the windshield wiper fluid reservoir.
"Remember, don't leave the lot without bidding on a call, unless there's nothing to bid on."
"How can I tell?"
"Listen to the radio."
I cocked my ear, but there was nothing but silence. "We are clearly bored," the dispatcher finally said, the transmission clear, but crackling, a loud squawk nearly bursting my eardrums when he closed the channel.
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"Clearly bored. That's slang for a clear board, meaning there's no calls. Let's roll. Put on your seat belt."
I complied, and Kern drove out of the parking lot, turned a corner, then turned onto a large thoroughfare with three lanes on each side, separated by a large median.A street sign read "East Washington Avenue." Ahead, at the summit of a gentle rise, the Capitol glowed brightly. It was a lovely and majestic sight.
"Not much going on," Kern said. "Let's go check out some med-labs. Chances are you won't be doing many deliveries driving late nights, but most of the nighttime deliveries are lab deliveries."
Kern maintained a steady speed as he climbedEast Washington , weaving around the occasionally car. He began to explain the process of bidding for calls. "All of your radio transmissions must be concise," he said. "We use a lotta slang. Check the slang glossary in your manual. For instance, when bidding, you don't have to sayEast Washington Avenue orWest Washington Avenue . You can just say, 'the Ave.'"
"How will the dispatcher know if it is East orWest Washington ?"
"They'll know by your cross street. For instance, that street we just passed, Patterson? We'd call that, 'Pat and the Ave.' Same thing with some of these other streets. West and East Johnson is John.East Gorham is Egor."
Kern caught me shaking my head. "Don't worry," he said. "You'll pick it up before too long. The key is eliminating unnecessary words. You don't have to say 'street' or 'road' or 'avenue.' The name of the street will be enough. And you don't have to say 'going to.' 'To' is enough by itself."
We circled the Capitol and turned ontoWest Washington . Kern pointed a couple blocks ahead. "The first med lab on our tour. The Meth. That's theMethodistHospital ." Kern reached down and pressed the 10-7 button. The dispatcher quickly responded, and my trainer explained that we were commencing a tour of medical laboratories.
After he showed me theMethodistHospital laboratory and pharmacy, we were almost out the door on our way back to the cab when a security guard came running toward us, a plastic bag in his hand. "Got one for you," he said with a smile.
Kern flashed a toothy grin, accepting the bag which held a vial containing yellow liquid, along with a pink piece of paper. He explained that the piece of paper was a voucher that should be stapled to a completed charge slip and handed in with the waybill at the end of the shift.
"Cool!" Kern exclaimed once back inside the cab. He pointed at a flashing red light illuminating the lower right corner of the radio. "See that? The dispatcher's been looking for us. Most likely because he wanted to assign us to pick up this package. But we're one step ahead of him. Now, when you return to your cab after being out of it, always check to see if that light is flashing. If it is, it means the dispatcher hit your call button, and you should immediately hit your HiQ button." I reached down and punched the HiQ button. Kern smiled at my initiative and lifted the microphone from its cradle.
"Seventy," the dispatcher said.
"Right here," Kern replied. "If it's about the package to GML, we already got it."
"Ten-four," the dispatcher replied.
"But hey," Kern said, "we got a trainee here. How 'bout you nuke us again?"
"My pleasure," the dispatcher replied. A few seconds later, a loud series of beeps filled the cab.
"Thanks," Kern told the dispatcher. He replaced the microphone. "Dispatchers will also use the call button to get your attention if you're not paying attention to the radio when they're looking for you. You don't want them to have to nuke you during rush hour. They get pissed if you do that too often, and if you get that kind of bad rep, the dispatchers might not see your bid light as quickly as more attentive drivers. But hey, don't lose any sleep over it. A co-op is willing to work