“I hope you realize how lucky you are that this didn’t happen when Lord Elban was here. Your little arrangement with him would actually have made this worse, you know. You’re not just the disobedient foundling anymore. You’re his property, just like his horse or his soldiers or his sword. He might still have something to say about it, when he comes back.”
No point responding to that, either. When the Seneschal spoke again, he sounded weary. “You must begin to think before you act, Judah. Elban might not be willing to kill you, but surely you realize now that killing is not the worst he can do. What happened here was the bare minimum that I could order, and still have a chance of satisfying him. I’m doing everything that I can to help you, but I can’t promise that it will be enough.”
She opened her eyes. “This is helping me?”
“Right now, this is the best help I can give you.”
No point. She let her eyes close again.
She heard the Seneschal stand. “Nathaniel Magus is here to see to your wounds. If he thinks it’s safe, he’ll untie you. The restraints aren’t a punishment. You were delirious, and we didn’t want to risk you rolling onto your back.” Apparently, she was supposed to say something to that because he paused, and after the pause he sounded stern and disappointed. “The magus has made sure you aren’t pregnant, but he’ll need to examine you again to make sure the bleeding has stopped. Do what he tells you. We won’t speak of the stableman again. Maybe the House will forget and Elban will never hear of it.”
Footsteps. Receding.
Darid was dead and it was her fault.
* * *
As the magus untied her, he said, “I’m very sorry for everything that’s happened to you. I did what I could to help.”
He had to help her move her arms down to her side. It hurt, a stabbing pain through the joints of her shoulders. Unlike the fire in her back it was a good pain, or would be, but she almost cried out. The shock of it opened her eyes; the magus crouched next to the bed, where he could meet her gaze with his own, which was concerned and genuinely sad. His glasses had been broken, she noticed; a thin crack marred the lens, and the frames were clumsily mended with a piece of wire.
“Everyone keeps telling me how much they’ve done for me.” She relished the bitterness in her own voice. “And yet somehow I don’t feel helped.”
“I don’t blame you. I need to see your back. I’m sorry, I can’t give you any more opium syrup. But I’ll be as gentle as I can.” She closed her eyes. A stretchy pain was added to the burning one. “The bandages stick a little. I have a salve that will help, but in a few days, it would be good if we left the bandages off and let the wounds air. There are some stitches here that have to come out. It might pinch.” Whatever the magus was doing now hurt, but not unbearably. He took a bandage from the table. “You’ll have some scars, but I’ve seen worse. And you have some scars already, I see.”
“They told you about Gavin and me.”
“They did. It’s very interesting. Lord Gavin really has healed quite a bit faster than you have. He woke up earlier, too, by several hours.” There was an audible snip, and a tiny, almost insulting pinch. “What caused the scars on your feet?”
“Different things. Nobody ever sees feet.” Darid had seen her feet. The last day had not been the first time. He had never said a word about her scars.
Pinch. “Lord Gavin said you were taught not to scream.”
Darid was dead and it was her fault. Through gritted teeth: “Couldn’t have me saying ouch when he stubbed his royal toe.”
The magus’s scissors snipped, snipped. “Whatever the source of the bond between you, I don’t think it was intended to be used that way. To hurt you.”
She opened her eyes. “Oh? Then how do you think it was intended to be used?”
Either missing her sarcasm or ignoring it, he said, “Maybe someone was trying to protect you.” He put the scissors on the table next to the bed, and then laid something across her back, something cool and damp that quenched the fire.
“Then someone underestimated Lord Elban,” she said. “Someone underestimated this whole horrible place.”