my arms and put them around his body and squeezed him. “I’ve missed you too, Kale, more than you know.”
We stayed like that, hugging one another until Kale stepped back and stared down at me. “I know this might sound stupid, but I can’t believe you’re really here,” he said with a shake of his head. “When I first saw you on Friday in the parlour, I wanted to be the one to touch you instead of your dad, just so I could see if you were real. I’ve dreamt so many times about you being back here, I wasn’t sure if I was just seeing things.”
His admission stunned me.
“Kale,” I whispered.
“It’s dumb,” he blurted out, flushing slightly. “I know—”
“It’s not dumb,” I interrupted. “When I’m in my apartment in New York and I’m falling asleep at night, I hear your voice in my head. Sometimes it keeps me awake because I miss you so much.”
I wasn’t embarrassed to admit something so private; it felt right to tell him.
Kale swallowed. “You’re still my best friend.”
“I know, pup, and you’re mine.”
He looked away from me. “I can’t believe how our lives have turned out. Everything is so different from when we were kids.”
I sighed. “Tell me about it. I’ve wished for a time machine many a time to go back and change some things.”
Kale looked back at me then. “What do you want to change about your past?”
It was my turn to look away then. “You said you didn’t want to have that conversation here.”
He cleared his throat. “I don’t . . . sorry, I guess I’m just using every second I can to talk to you, and I’m saying the first thing that pops into my head.”
I looked back to him, reached out and pressed my hand against his arm. “I know this will be hard to believe considering I’ve bolted before, but I’m not running away. I’m going to stay right here in York and make things right with my family, and with you, before I even think about anything else. Harry would’ve wanted that.”
He would have. He had told me enough times over the years.
“What about you?” Kale promptly asked. “What do you want?”
“A lot of things,” I replied, my heart heavy.
He tapped away on the screen, then lifted his arm and turned it to face me. “This is Kaden.”
I gasped and immediately snatched Kale’s phone from his hand, which he found amusing. “Oh, my God,” I gushed as I stared at the newborn baby in the picture. “He is beautiful, Kale. Just . . . oh, my God. He was perfect. I knew your baby would be perfect, but he really was.”
Kale nodded. “He was everything.”
“Little angel,” I whispered and stroked my pinkie over the picture of Kaden’s beautiful little face.
Kale watched me meeting his son, with joy.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” I said softly as I scrolled through the pictures and watched videos of Kaden at various stages through his short life.
Kale was silent for a long time, but he eventually said, “You were with me; just not in person.”
I looked up from his phone and found him watching me. He backed against the wall and had his hands jammed into the front pockets of his jeans. He seemed to be positioned that way a lot whenever he was in my presence. “Why didn’t you want me here?” I asked, curious. “You told Harry not to tell me about Kaden’s death. Why? I would have come home. I swear I would have.”
He walked back over to me and kneeled before me, placing his hands on my thighs, sending my stomach into cartwheels. “I know you would have come home,” he said firmly. “Trust me, Lane, God himself wouldn’t have kept you away – and sweetheart, I know that.”
I blinked. “Then why didn’t you want me here?”
“Because,” he began, “you would have dropped everything for me. I didn’t want to hurt you again because I knew deep down I would have been using you to mask the pain over losing Kaden, and you didn’t deserve that. I didn’t want to take advantage of your feelings for me, and I probably would have to make myself feel better at the time.”
I solemnly nodded. “I understand.”
“Do you?” Kale prompted. “Do you understand how much it hurt that I needed you, but I couldn’t have you?”
“Yeah, Kale, I understand exactly how much that hurts.”
He stared at me, his eyes swimming with different emotions. “I’m so sorry for hurting you,” he