ears. Closing his eyes, he shifts to his human form until there’s a very naked Jonah hovering over me. “You’re killing me,” he murmurs.
This close, I spy the torture in his eyes—the war between his body, his thoughts, and maybe even outside forces I’m unaware of. His bare chest skims mine, making my heart flip.
I trace my thumbs over his cheekbones. “Are your parents mad about me?”
His eyes shutter closed, long lashes fanning down his cheeks. “They only know what everyone else says.”
“Jonah, I didn’t participate in the pack because their words hurt. Everyone’s snide comments about living Feral as if they would’ve been just as happy to see me living in the woods with no family or dead. That’s why I separated myself from everyone.”
“You were selfish,” he argues. “A pack means something.”
“A pack that doesn’t even want me?”
“You never tried.” I attempt to slip out from under him, but he wraps his massive hand around my back, keeping me there. “We’re talking. We need to get this out. You shunned everybody else. You went against the grain because you could, and you didn’t care.”
Fury rips through me. “Of course that’s what you would see. You’re Jonah Livestrong, third from the alpha. You have everything. A respectable family, built-in friends. No one talked shit about you.”
“Because I tried.”
I shake my head. He may never see my side of the story. But the thing is, I don’t want to give that part of me up. She deserves to be heard. “I don’t know how to convince you that I did, too. I’m not going to argue about how our situations were totally different. If you can’t see it, you’re blind.”
I drop my hands to the grass and look away. Eventually, he rolls off me, and I avert my eyes as he searches through his bag and finds a pair of joggers to pull on. “Get dressed behind the trees,” he demands.
I lift myself to my feet, grab the discarded clothing I’d dropped when he’d shifted, and retreat behind the spruce trees to change into the joggers and shirt. I emerge with my school uniform in hand and lay it on top of Jonah’s bag. The fresh air caresses my skin and sweeps my hair in front of my face. He’s right about being outdoors. Even if I can’t shift, at least I have this.
Still, it doesn’t erase the tension building between Jonah and me.
Now that I have the correct pants that don’t threaten to show off everything I have, he takes me through a more rigorous warm up, then has me punch pads, once again perfecting my fist form. We also do a few hold escapes where he bear hugs me from behind, and I use my center of gravity, among other things, to get away.
It’s a shame I can’t shift. I’d love to see what he had in mind for training in wolf form. At some point, once we progress beyond human stuff, I’ll have to watch him and take notes instead of doing it myself.
All in all, I enjoy our classes together, and not only because Jonah shows off his true prowess, making my wolf sing. This kind of training is empowerment at its best. The more he teaches me, the stronger and fiercer I feel. Plus, it appeases my wolf to train. I take her aggressiveness out on the pads, which also turns out to be good therapy when I picture Jonah’s face while I’m punching.
As we wrap up, Jonah asks, “Does your wolf feel more settled?”
“I was just thinking that, actually. This helps keep her at bay.” I frown when she whimpers. I know it’s not fair, but it’s the best we’ve got right now.
“It’s not a permanent solution,” Jonah agrees. “But it should help. I had anger issues when I was a pup, and my dad would train me from a very young age. It always held my wolf in.”
I cock my head. “You had the urge to shift ahead of graduation?”
He nods slowly. “As you know, strictly not allowed. It could screw up the wolf-human balance.”
I frown. I had no idea he went through that. My wolf was always inside, but she held back, never threatening to make her physical presence known until it was time. I can’t imagine what Jonah went through to try to suppress his true nature.
“It wasn’t all roses for me either,” he chides.
O-kay. Here we go. I’ll give him that, but there’s a huge difference. Other people were okay