opposite the door, holding Violet while we both watched the exchange going on by the bed. Jada and her father were both calm. No emotion swam over their faces, and I wondered if I’d ever been that calm with my dad.
Mr. Dick had loved to rile me up, and I’d always acquiesced, my worthlessness in his eyes forcing my hand over and over again.
The fact that I’d joined the FBI…the fact that I’d refused to just be an informant… It had all been one big F-you to my father, an attempt to prove to him, Truck, and the world that I could actually do the right thing. That I could be a better person than anyone had ever expected of me.
And yet, I’d still screwed the whole thing up.
People had still been wounded.
Lives had been altered.
I was pretty sure the higher-ups were going to want a head for the lost time and money on this operation. I would make damn sure it was mine and not Malone’s. He was definitely the better human being.
“Dawson,” Violet called my name softly. I looked down to see that I was squeezing her tightly.
“Sorry,” I said.
“Don’t. Stop apologizing,” she said. “I want you to know I’m proud of you.”
Like always, it was as if she’d read every thought running through my head. I closed my eyes against the words and the emotion in them. So damn painful. The almost having her. The almost succeeding. But almost only counted in horseshoes. That was what Mr. Dick had always told me, and it was the truth. Almost wasn’t shit.
Violet’s stance tightened as Mori-sama emerged from the room. He straightened his cuffs and headed down the hallway without a glance in our direction.
We hurried into Jada’s room where she was trying to reach for the water on a tray. Violet brought it closer to her.
“You scared me,” Violet said to her.
“I scared myself,” she answered back. She took a sip and then pushed it away.
“What did he say?” I demanded.
“He said as I am his daughter, he has granted me this one mistake. He has protected me and my friends from any retribution by anyone in the organization, but any further betrayal will cost me more than just my place in the family.”
I scrubbed at my face with my hands, trying to be awake enough to put it all together.
“In other words, he isn’t going to have me or you or anyone here killed for my betrayal, but if I take one wrong step, I’ll no longer be his daughter and no longer be protected,” Jada said calmly.
Jesus. Did I believe it? Did I believe he would let us get away with trying to take them down? To disassemble them from the inside out? Maybe her. His daughter. But there was nothing to hold him back from coming for me.
“He also made it clear I was no longer welcome in any of his houses. He is having my items removed to Obaasan’s in New York and suggested I find my own place.”
“He didn’t cut you off completely?” I said, shocked.
“How would it look if the mountain known as Mori-sama―the Oyabun―was betrayed by his only child? He would have to admit his own weakness in letting me get close, and that would bring the sharks in faster than blood in the water. No, he will downplay this to the entire organization as Ken’Ichi’s screw-up.”
Her words had me inhaling deeply, the knot in my chest loosening and tightening at the same time as relief and another round of worry hit me. Because one thing was certain. Ken’Ichi was not going to be giving us grace if he lost everything he’d worked to gain. Power. Money. It made him more dangerous than ever.
Violet
DON’T GIVE UP ON ME
“And I will hold
I'll hold onto you
No matter what this world'll throw.”
Performed by Andy Grammer
Written by Grammer / Inscore / Farrar / Torrey
Dawson and I stayed at Jada’s side until she told us if we didn’t leave, she was going to hire some of her father’s hit men to take us out herself. She hated being hovered over as much as she hated not being able to walk away when she was done with a situation. Now, she was tied to a bed and needed us to be the ones to walk away.
“You’re coming with me to the B&B when they release you,” I told her, and she just shrugged and said, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”